Mom Porn: Palm Beach

Mom Porn: Palm Beach

My buddy MTM over at Mary Tyler Mom hit the nail on the head with her post about Mom Porn. Forget Fifty Shades of Grey: real mom porn is a hotel by yourself for two nights. Extra bonus points if the trip is for work and your company picks up the tab.

My recent trip to West Palm Beach wasn't for work and I wasn't alone but I was away with grown ups for two nights. Call me a wild woman: mom porn for me can involve a group!

No kids creating laundry and dirty dishes! Ordering whatever I want to eat in a restaurant! Lounging by the pool without worrying if someone was going to fall in or run and slip! Uninterrupted conversation! Staying up late! Sleeping in!

Never mind that last one. I have lost the ability to sleep in no matter how late I stay out. Damn kids.

I went to Florida with three girlfriends, one of whom is getting married in September. We all went to graduate school together and we are all - ahem - mature ladies in our late 30's/early 40's. This was not a crazy drunken bachelorette weekend with -- um -- entertainment or *cough* naughty accessories. Just four moms lounging by the ocean and talking about our kids, our careers, and our depilatory practices.

In case you were wondering what draws women over 40 together, it's the constant battle against our emerging mustaches.

The weather in Palm Beach was perfect, the fruit was local and fresh, and I even got a pedicure. We discussed wedding plans non-stop and the bride-to-be even found a dress.

But guess what?

And I know you parents will hear me on this: I MISSED MY BABIES.

I was simultaneously glad that weren't around to disturb my grown-up girl time and sad that they weren't there with me. Aislin would love swimming in the ocean and frolicking in the waves. Eilie would love the little geckos, snails, wild ducks, and toads that we saw. I found myself wishing they were there to collect shells in the day and snuggle at night.

Isn't that the difference between reality and fantasy? It's fun to visit the fantasy of being single and child-free but I don't want that to be my reality. As one of my friends so wisely said, "I appreciate the time I was single but I love being married. I love being a mom, poopy diapers and all."

So yeah, the trip was porn. Would I really want to be Christian Grey's girlfriend? HELL NO. It's fun to fantasize about that kind of lover, that kind of life. But I am so happy and satisfied in my middle-class marriage even though my husband isn't a billionaire. I wouldn't trade my children for anything even though they are exhausting, messy, and sometimes rude little snits.

Would I really want to live in Palm Beach single and child-free where there's never any snow at Christmas and everyone votes Republican? HELL NO.

Porn and Palm Beach. A nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there.

 

 

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  • In Florida, there are poopy Depends.

  • Fortunately, they were not mine to worry about!

  • Nice post. Sounds heavenly and I would love a weekend getaway. But, I wouldn't trade what I have for anything else.

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