Posts in category "White People"

Black Friday Violence Fantasy League Rules

Black Friday Violence Fantasy League Rules
Are you tired of thinking, “Sure, I am as amused as anyone when it comes to hearing about fights or stampedes on Black Friday, but I just wish I could somehow make money from them.”? I used to be as well, and then I started my all-new (not just partially new) Black Friday Violence Fantasy... Read more »

19 Halloween Costumes That are Ebola Puns

19 Halloween Costumes That  are Ebola Puns
After reading this Mashable list of punny Halloween costumes, I was inspired to think of a few more relating to Ebola. My thinking is that everyone will recognize the ubiquitous microscopic picture of the Ebola virus (shown above), so if you can craft that out of yarn, string, ribbon a shoelace, stuffed panty hose, etc.... Read more »

How I Made a Crummy Job Fun For a Moment

How I Made a Crummy Job Fun For a Moment
ChicagoNow is running a weekly special on crummy jobs. Here is my tale. In high school my old man told me I needed to get a summer job to learn the value of a dollar, so I got a job caddying at the local country club. It was a pretty fancy country club with a... Read more »
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Weekend News Recap

Weekend News Recap
“Abandon all hope of agreeing, ye non-critical thinkers who enter.” - Dante (kind of) 1.The United States Learns a Very Special Lesson About Friendship Edward Snowden became a political refugee when he told the world that the United States spied on it’s own citizens, Russia, China and most other countries. He fled to China-controlled Hong... Read more »

Five Ways NPR Can Survive Without Government Funding

Five Ways NPR Can Survive Without Government Funding
Fellow boring white people, assemble! NPR is in danger of losing its government funding. Whether you’re all for that or totally against it, there’s one thing we can all agree on: enchiladas is tasty. Now that we’ve established some common ground, let’s try to find a way for listeners like you and me to make... Read more »

The Whitest Bulls in Recent History: Chicago Sports Week Continues

The Whitest Bulls in Recent History: Chicago Sports Week Continues
It’s Chicago Sports Week at Lists That Actually Matter and I wanted to hold it down and show some love for MY people. All the beige brothas out there gettin’ down for theirs on the Bulls. This lists celebrates the whitest of the white players. To borrow a phrase from How the Grinch Stole Kwanzaa-... Read more »
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The 8 Ugliest U.S. Presidents

Abraham Lincoln: the Sixteenth President of the United States <br><br>
Sorry Abey Baby, but out of respect for you I gotta be honest- you're not very attractive. Well I mean, "out of respect" in the sense that you were always honest, so I will respect your example of honesty. I didn't want to imply that I was calling you ugly out of respect for you. Though, technically, I kinda was.
It’s Ugly Week at Lists That Actually Matter. Each day we will unveil a list ranking the ugliness of a topic. Being that Monday is President’s Day, today’s topic is Ugliest United States Presidents. To establish the definition of ugly in this sense I am going strictly on the superficial. Human decency didn’t factor into... Read more »