Category: Uncategorized

6 Other Events Stephen Miller Should Crash to Prove His Testosterone-Laden Superiority

6 Other Events Stephen Miller Should Crash to Prove His Testosterone-Laden Superiority
Today The New York Times’s Matt Flegenheimer posted a lengthy bio on Donald Trump’s favorite Eunuch Vampire, impersonator, Stephen Miller. In the well-researched piece, one anecdote seemed to get the bulk of social media buzz, where it was noted about, then high schooler, Miller, “He jumped, uninvited, into the final stretch of a girls’ track... Read more »

The 10 best tweets about Sean Spicer's inauguration statement. Period.

1. “The Macarena will be an enduring, all-American dance. Period.” pic.twitter.com/np0gIT95cO — Paul Musgrave (@profmusgrave) January 22, 2017 2. “People drink Malört because they love the taste, PERIOD.” pic.twitter.com/7SL1pYkWvy — Scott Smith (@ourmaninchicago) January 22, 2017 3. “The Death Star had no design flaws. Period.” pic.twitter.com/mZBB4MnPLm — Matt O’Brien (@ObsoleteDogma) January 22, 2017 4. “Jared... Read more »

The 10 Worst Personality Traits of Donald Trump

Lately, the mainstream media (a.k.a. lamestream media if you support, well, any candidate) has been reporting on many of what they would like you to believe are Donald Trump’s most horrible positions and statements.  However, as #msm #lamestreetmedia tends to do, they have REFUSED to report the most disgusting things Trump does.  Come on #MSM,... Read more »
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Four Reasons to Check out Galactic's "Into the Deep" Release Party Next Weekend

Four Reasons to Check out Galactic's "Into the Deep" Release Party Next Weekend
There are a lot of solid acts to choose from over Labor Day weekend where North Coast after-parties are concerned.  They are pretty diverse across the 16-show-gamut, so I guess one could say there is something for everyone. One of my top show choices is definitely Galactic, as they bring the funky fonky heat, and... Read more »

Sports and Their Social Media Equivalences

Sports and Their Social Media Equivalences
1. Facebook = Baseball: Old people are really into it and think it is way more relevant than it really is, but nobody under 30 is even using it anymore.   2. WhatsApp = Soccer:  Everyone in the rest of the world uses it everyday, but nobody in America even knows it exists.   3. Instagram = NBA: Neither looks as good... Read more »

Awarding Excellence in Andydom: The Andy Awards

Awarding Excellence in Andydom: The Andy Awards
I thought it was time to honor some famous Andys with the Andy Awards. At first it may seem like these are awards were arbitrarily made up and awarded to every famous I could think of, and that is exactly correct. So here are the 11 Best Andys I could think of.
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Substitutes for Saying "Jesus Christ", Ranked

Substitutes for Saying "Jesus Christ", Ranked
Christmas is coming up and you know what that means: Santa and God are both monitoring your behavior and deciding what kind of presents you deserve on Christmas. Since that means that this is the worst time of year to get caught taking the Lord’s name in vain, I cobbled together a handy list of... Read more »

Apology Day: My Made-up Holiday for Blogapalooz-hour

Apology Day: My Made-up Holiday for Blogapalooz-hour
A writing challenge was issued to ChicagoNow writers to create a holiday that should exist, and we have one hour to do it. My idea is Contrition Day. It’s not just a day where you sit (or kneel or pray) around feeling guilty for the wrongs you have committed, but a day where you actually... Read more »

10 Best Baseball Seasons by a Player With a Jheri Curl

But before we get to the list, I had to present the Lifetime Achievement Award in the Medium of the Jheri Curl to Pascual Perez. The man has earned it. Thanks for you all you did, Pascual. <br><br> Ok, now on to the list.
Jheri! Jheri! Jheri! The rule for inclusion on this list is pretty easy: The player must have had a Jheri curl for most of that season as far as I could tell. To make this list a player needed to be in both his baseball prime and his plumage prime from about 1986-1989, when baseball... Read more »
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4 Reasons Jon Stewart Should Shut His Pizza Pie Hole

4 Reasons Jon Stewart Should Shut His Pizza Pie Hole
1. The only reason you don’t call it “New York style pizza”, is because you are already in New York, tough guy. The rest of the country calls your pizza, “New York style pizza”, I’ll that you that for free.   2. For a guy that fakes an Italian accent so often, you’d think Jon... Read more »