Category: ugly

6 Other Events Stephen Miller Should Crash to Prove His Testosterone-Laden Superiority

6 Other Events Stephen Miller Should Crash to Prove His Testosterone-Laden Superiority
Today The New York Times’s Matt Flegenheimer posted a lengthy bio on Donald Trump’s favorite Eunuch Vampire, impersonator, Stephen Miller. In the well-researched piece, one anecdote seemed to get the bulk of social media buzz, where it was noted about, then high schooler, Miller, “He jumped, uninvited, into the final stretch of a girls’ track... Read more »

Overly Botox'd Celebrities Crying: A Photo Gallery That may Make you cry....With Laughter

Admittedly, I don’t understand why people get botox, but I think it’s because they feel it makes them look more attractive.  So let’s look for signs of attractiveness in this photo gallery, and if we can’t find any, we will have to conclude that botox is stupid and counter-productive. In the meantime, please enjoy this... Read more »

A Valentine's Day Guide to Male Sexual Endurance

Lena Dunham <br><br> Making me appreciate pixelation since 2013. Even the girl I'm dating admitted Lena was naked too much and a self-indulgent writer in  last week's episode.  <br><br>
No one has ever said this before: Guys, you're welcome for that naked Lena Dunham pic.
Let’s face it guys, there is a lot riding on your sexual performance tonight (get it?). A lot can go wrong- if you conclude the amorous liaison too quickly, you’re a two-pump chump, but if you go on too long, she may wonder what she’s doing wrong or why you have the potency of a bi-curious octogenarian. We at... Read more »

8 Animals Whose Gender We Assume

8 Animals Whose Gender We Assume
It’s an involuntary human reflex to see a big, lumbering, drooling Bull Mastiff, and assume it’s a dude. The same goes for Yaks too. Here are a few others animals that we arbitrarily assign to a certain gender. Tyrannosaurus Rex Gender you assume: Male (especially after you see how they ate Triceratops) What no one... Read more »

Top 5 Signs You May NOT Be Good Looking

1. Do you have adult braces?  If you are over 15, and have braces, you should care less about straight teeth.
Curious if you are single because of how you look? Or if you are dating an ugly guy/gal only because you value personalities?  What better way to cap off ugly week than letting the readers know whether or not they are uggos.  

10 Ugliest Species of Fish: Ugly Week Continues

Stonefish <br><br>

This versatile gentleman camoflouges really well in rocky surfaces, sandy surfaces or Limbaugh family portraits.
First is a free grammar lesson:  when is it grammatically correct to use “fishes” in a sentence,  and when is “fish”  (plural)  correct? Answer: When you refer to many of the same species you use “fish”  (plural),  when there are more than one kind, they are collectively known as “fishes”.  And when you do you... Read more »

9 Ugliest Garbage Pail Kids: Ugly Week Continues

2. I see the cuff link but does that shirt even have French cuffs? What an ugly fashion faux-pas! 2) Oh and there's that semen too.
Ugly week is alive and well, ugly. If you don’t remember the Garbage Pail Kids you are either younger than me and/or dignified. While “researching” this topic I found a lot of either new-age Garbage Pail Kids or PhotoShopped ones, but I think all of these are originals. 

Top 10 Ugliest A-List Celebrities

Top 10 Ugliest A-List Celebrities
Look! Ugly people can be famous too!

6 Ugliest Dog Breeds

Boston Terrier <br><br> Wait, so Boston gave us Dane Cook, New Kids on the Block, Ben Affleck AND this breed of dog? Now I know what to tell the wasted Red Sox fan who won't stop spitting while he shouts Boston sportsisms at me in a non-sports bar. Before that it was usually something more like, "Holy wow, dude your breath is horrible. Do you want a piece of gum? No, you know what? That isn't a question. Here's some gum, dude."

The 8 Ugliest U.S. Presidents

Abraham Lincoln: the Sixteenth President of the United States <br><br>
Sorry Abey Baby, but out of respect for you I gotta be honest- you're not very attractive. Well I mean, "out of respect" in the sense that you were always honest, so I will respect your example of honesty. I didn't want to imply that I was calling you ugly out of respect for you. Though, technically, I kinda was.
It’s Ugly Week at Lists That Actually Matter. Each day we will unveil a list ranking the ugliness of a topic. Being that Monday is President’s Day, today’s topic is Ugliest United States Presidents. To establish the definition of ugly in this sense I am going strictly on the superficial. Human decency didn’t factor into... Read more »