Posts in category "Movies"

Clark the Cub was Financed by 50 Shades of Grey Movie Marketers

Clark the Cub was Financed by 50 Shades of Grey Movie Marketers
(this is satire) It was recently discovered that Clark the Cub, the Cubs’ new mascot, is the result of an advanced-marketing scheme by Universal Pictures for the third installment of the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy due out in 2023. Under this marketing plan, Clark will condition children to be more accepting of BDSM once... Read more »

10 Worst Celebrity Transformations From Good guy to Heel

10 Worst Celebrity Transformations From Good guy to Heel
“Oh my God, and then Jake came over and he was completely wasted and was being the biggest a@$hole. Uggghh!! I wanted to punch him in the face!” -Girl on her phone next to me in Lincoln Park, or something similar about a guy being a jerk. every. single. day. If there’s one think I’ve... Read more »

15 Best Black Characters Ever of TV and Cinema

15 Best Black Characters Ever of TV and Cinema
It’s Black History Month and us writers at Lists That Actually Matter know our black history. We know that our nation’s treatment of black people is not always comfortable to discuss at work, and large parts of it are regrettable and leave us shaking our head.  So if I want my list to accurately portray... Read more »
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The Liz and Dick Drinking Game

The Liz and Dick Drinking Game
This pop culture landmark and  future instant classic airs Sunday at 9/8c on Lifetime. If you like awful stuff as much as I do, I cannot recommend this highly enough.   - When you look at the tv and don’t see Liz Taylor, but rather Lindsay Lohan feebly trying to portray her, take a drink.... Read more »

Oscars 2012: A Selection of Grossly Uninformed Picks

“I’d like to tell the Academy to SCRAM!” Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I’m something of a film buff. Anything else they tell you is a damn lie (those cars were engulfed in flames when I borrowed them). So with the 84th Academy Awards just a few hours away, I thought... Read more »

6 Best Fat Kid Characters of TV/Cinema

6 Best Fat Kid Characters of TV/Cinema
Please note I am jesting about the fictional character and not the actor himself. I have better things to do than point and laugh at people who used to be fat (editor’s note: That last sentence was a bald-faced lie).   Chunk from Goonies   Very simply the gold standard of chubby child actors.  ... Read more »
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4 Best Dudes in Movies

4 Best Dudes in Movies
Main characters were exempt from this list because just about every main character, at some point, has to undergo a few boring scenes for the sake of character development, empathy generation, subplot, etc.,  whereas the sole function of supporting characters might be to deliver 10 lines funny lines and knock them out of the park.... Read more »

6 Assumptive Movie Reviews

6 Assumptive Movie Reviews
I have not yet seen any of the following, nor do I plan to. However, that didn’t stop me from reviewing them anyway based upon what I assume they are like.  Reviewed in this Edition: Scre4m, Source Code, Rio, Hop, Arthur, and the Adjustment Bureau.  ———————————————–Like us on Facebook

5 Least Sexy Film Characters (Female)

5 Least Sexy Film Characters (Female)
Last week our guy Jack wrote an awesome piece about the six sexiest film characters.  I strongly suggest you read it because, unlike this post, it is well written and easy on the eyes. And, Dakota Fanning, you’re lucky the site editor has a moral compass.  ————————————————Like us on FacebookTwitter
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6 Sexiest Film Characters (FEMALE)

We go to the movies to identify with the characters on screen, to experience thrills and frights without their true consequences, and, of course, to look at beautiful, sexy bodies and faces. Sex sells, and the cinema sells sex, and with that in mind, I present to you the 6 Sexiest Female Film Characters in... Read more »