Posts in category "Holidays"

The 26 Most Glorious Firework Names

The 26 Most Glorious Firework Names
I recently went to Phantom Fireworks in Merrillville, Indiana to buy some fireworks and became an instant fan of their firework naming team. Even though that store has well over 79 million(* by my estimation) different kinds of fireworks, all the names were pretty amusing. A friend put me in touch with Phantom CEO, Bruce... Read more »

How Well Do you Know The Lyrics of These Christmas Classics?

How Well Do you Know The Lyrics of These Christmas Classics?
A few disclaimers here. These songs just happen to be my favorites, so that’s why they are on here. I’m not claiming they are comprehensively the best or I have good taste or anything like that, I just went with what I knew. You might notice I’ve been heavily influenced by the Time Life Treasury... Read more »

10 Ways to Stick It to Employers that Make You Work on Thanksgiving

10 Ways to Stick It to Employers that Make You Work on Thanksgiving
In dishonor of Wal-Mart, Best Buy, K-Mart (it’s like Wal-Mart, but even more depressing), Sears, Bass Pro Shops, Dick Sporting Goods, The Gap, Banana Republic, Old Navy, Staples, Office Depot, Michaels, Big Lots, Kohls, JC Penney and Toys R Us staying open on Thanksgiving we decided to run a truncated theme for the first three days of... Read more »
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12 Suggestions for Dressing in Blackface This Halloween

12 Suggestions for Dressing in Blackface This Halloween
1. Is is it ok to dress up as a black person if I’m not black? -Yes 2. Is it ok to dress in blackface then? -No 3. But if I’m not in blackface how will they know who I am supposed to be? -Either from your clever costume ideas that do not involve skin... Read more »

10 Other Times We Kicked England's Ass Since the Revolutionary War

10 Other Times We Kicked England's Ass Since the Revolutionary War
July, 4th celebrates our Independence from England and we all know how we gained that independence- by kicking England’s ass. That’s the whole reason we actually celebrate Independence Day (e.g. fireworks, grilling, drinking)  instead of merely observing it like we do Memorial Day (e.g. grilling, drinking) or Veteran’s Day (e.g. grilling, drinking) or Flag Day... Read more »

A Valentine's Day Guide to Male Sexual Endurance

Lena Dunham <br><br> Making me appreciate pixelation since 2013. Even the girl I'm dating admitted Lena was naked too much and a self-indulgent writer in  last week's episode.  <br><br>
No one has ever said this before: Guys, you're welcome for that naked Lena Dunham pic.
Let’s face it guys, there is a lot riding on your sexual performance tonight (get it?). A lot can go wrong- if you conclude the amorous liaison too quickly, you’re a two-pump chump, but if you go on too long, she may wonder what she’s doing wrong or why you have the potency of a bi-curious octogenarian. We at... Read more »
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Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Drinking Game

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Drinking Game
Everybody wants to have a good time on Thanksgiving, but the odds of that happening are much higher for some people than for others.  Some people are bound to celebrate their blessings with a-hole relatives, while others may be gearing up for the awkward first Thanksgiving with in-laws, and others still will be stuck in... Read more »

Cheap, Easy and Punny Last-Minute Celebrity Halloween Costumes

Cheap, Easy and Punny Last-Minute Celebrity Halloween Costumes
You didn’t think you were gonna dress up for Halloween, but you just realized you have to.  Unfortunately, not only is there no time to buy a legit costume, there isn’t even enough time to THINK of a cool costume idea and the last look you want to pull off is the look that says,... Read more »

12 Dos and Don'ts for Office Holiday Parties (Plus Ice Breakers)

So he says, “Those aren’t antlers…” Office holiday parties exist for many reasons. For one, they’re a morale booster. I know whenever I’m handed an asinine project late on a Friday in July, I always think back to the free crostini I received in December and I’m ready to get down to business. They also... Read more »
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8 Christmas Essentials That Heighten all 5 of Your Senses

8 Christmas Essentials That Heighten all 5 of Your Senses
After finishing my  list of essentials to get you in the Christmas spirit early this year, I realized that it catered to each of our five senses.  And now that I know that, I’m kinda tempted to stimulate all five at the same time with Christmas cheer and see what happens…. Anyway,  here are my... Read more »