Posts in category "College"

5 New Fish-Themed Dating Surprises That Actually Sound Great!

Angelfish <br><br> What man doesn't want to date an angel? When Manti Te'o thought he was being Angelfish'd, he was really being Catfish'd.
This is the addendum to my previous list: Catfish’d 6 More Fish-Named Dating Pitfalls Manti Te’o Wouldn’t Much Prefer As you can tell from the title, these dating surprises actually sound downright desirable, much unlike being Catfish’d. The astute reader will note that the following dating surprises are in ascending order of vulgarity. But the... Read more »

Catfish'd: 6 Other Fish-Named Dating Pitfalls Manti Te'o Wouldn't Much Prefer

Seabass <br> <br> Because no one ever said, "I thought I was dating a pretty young Stanford grad, but it tuned out I was dating a violent and scruffy Dumb and Dumber character played by Cam Neely. And ya know what? I'm actually  glad I got Seabass'd!"
Did you hear Manti Te’o got Catfish’d??!!! Since I just learned what the verb “Catfish’d” means, I’m going out of my way to use it in every sentence so people know darn well that I am very familiar with the word. It’s similar to what four year-olds do when they learn a new word, but... Read more »

5 Points About Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend Scandal I Haven't Heard Anyone Else Make Yet

5 Points About Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend Scandal I Haven't Heard Anyone Else Make Yet
I happen to lean on the side of Manti Te’o being a rube and 100% innocent. Am I completely positive I’m right? No, but that’s my hunch until all the facts are in. However, what I am positive of is that this whole things is hilarious and awesome and I haven’t been this excited for... Read more »
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6 Ways to Make Your Job More Like College

6 Ways to Make Your Job More Like College
A few words of advice to the graduating class of 2012 from Dan P, the assistant professor of partying all/some of the time. I’d like to congratulate the class of 2012 and welcome them to the work world. As much fun as college was, you unfortunately cannot make a career out of chugging booze, creeping... Read more »

Advice for the Graduating Class of 2012: T.R. Slyder Edition

Advice for the Graduating Class of 2012: T.R. Slyder Edition
As college graduations draw near we at Lists That Actually Matter would like to serve as the tour guides to success for our recent graduates. Because, like Whitney Houston, we believe children are our future. But that is not all- we also do cocaine,   marijuana,  Xanax, the muscle relaxant Flexeril and Benadryl in bathtubs... Read more »

A Few Words of Advice for the Graduating Class of 2012

This week, the distinguished faculty of Lists That Actually Matter offers their advice to the graduating class of 2012. Today, a few words from Tony, Professor of Whatever Subject Would Impress You Most. Graduates, Congratulations, you’ve made it. By which I mean, you’ve made it to this post. Way to go. I’m proud of you,... Read more »
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Dos and Don'ts for New College Roommates

All across the country, a new crop of college students prepares for a brand new way of life. Adjusting to a roommate (or roommates) can be one of the most difficult parts of that new life. It’s always stressful dealing with another person’s quirks and idiosyncrasies, but now the solution isn’t as simple as just... Read more »

Ten Worries for the Class of 2011

Ten Worries for the Class of 2011
Congratulations to the Class of 2011. You are tomorrow’s doctors, lawyers, failed frozen yogurt franchisees and reality show contestants. You’ve navigated academia with aplomb. Now the world is your oyster, in that you’ll often find its inner-workings difficult to swallow. Wondering what that strange, non-venereal disease related sensation is that you just started feeling? It’s... Read more »