Posts in category "Bonin'"

Clark the Cub was Financed by 50 Shades of Grey Movie Marketers

Clark the Cub was Financed by 50 Shades of Grey Movie Marketers
(this is satire) It was recently discovered that Clark the Cub, the Cubs’ new mascot, is the result of an advanced-marketing scheme by Universal Pictures for the third installment of the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy due out in 2023. Under this marketing plan, Clark will condition children to be more accepting of BDSM once... Read more »

11 Creepiest Celebrity Dudes

11. Wilmer Valderrama <br><br> The celebrity gossip site, CrazyDaysAndNights.net is famous for it's Celebrity Blind Items. Every so often the blogger will reveal the identities of the people in the blind items. In my years reading that site I've discovered a lot of creeps, but two creepers tower over all the rest in their creepitude. Wilmer is one of them, and the other appears at #2 on the list. <br><br> <a href="http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/search/label/blind%20items%20revealed">Here is a link to every blind item reveal ever on that site</a>. If you like scandalous celebrity gossip, I guarantee this link will entertain you for at least two hours.
Political philosophers love to pose the question, “Who watches the watchers?” Frankly, That’s a really good question and I have no idea. But what I do know is that we at Lists That Actually Matter do the exact opposite. We creep the creepers.

6 Best Amicable Breakup Songs

6 Best Amicable Breakup Songs
My favorite line of Woody Allen’s amicable breakup movie, Annie Hall, is his narration at the end that begins like this: Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I… I realized what a terrific person she was, and… and how... Read more »
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5 New Fish-Themed Dating Surprises That Actually Sound Great!

Angelfish <br><br> What man doesn't want to date an angel? When Manti Te'o thought he was being Angelfish'd, he was really being Catfish'd.
This is the addendum to my previous list: Catfish’d 6 More Fish-Named Dating Pitfalls Manti Te’o Wouldn’t Much Prefer As you can tell from the title, these dating surprises actually sound downright desirable, much unlike being Catfish’d. The astute reader will note that the following dating surprises are in ascending order of vulgarity. But the... Read more »

Catfish'd: 6 Other Fish-Named Dating Pitfalls Manti Te'o Wouldn't Much Prefer

Seabass <br> <br> Because no one ever said, "I thought I was dating a pretty young Stanford grad, but it tuned out I was dating a violent and scruffy Dumb and Dumber character played by Cam Neely. And ya know what? I'm actually  glad I got Seabass'd!"
Did you hear Manti Te’o got Catfish’d??!!! Since I just learned what the verb “Catfish’d” means, I’m going out of my way to use it in every sentence so people know darn well that I am very familiar with the word. It’s similar to what four year-olds do when they learn a new word, but... Read more »

5 Points About Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend Scandal I Haven't Heard Anyone Else Make Yet

5 Points About Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend Scandal I Haven't Heard Anyone Else Make Yet
I happen to lean on the side of Manti Te’o being a rube and 100% innocent. Am I completely positive I’m right? No, but that’s my hunch until all the facts are in. However, what I am positive of is that this whole things is hilarious and awesome and I haven’t been this excited for... Read more »
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5 Reasons Kim Kardashian Is not Actually Pregnant

5 Reasons Kim Kardashian Is not Actually Pregnant
Admittedly, there is very good reason to believe Kim Kardashian is pregnant. And I also admit that we once had good reason to believe she was in love and about to marry the man of her dreams. Since we can’t trust her any farther than we can spit her, let’s look a little deeper into... Read more »

7 Things I Find Attractive in Women now that I'm 30

 7 Things I Find Attractive in Women now that I'm 30
I’ve come to admit that when you turn 30 you start to get a little weird.  Nothing too weird, but I’ve noticed that as a 32 year old bachelor I find certain things sexy about women that I didn’t when I was younger. I’m not claiming these are all super-important personality traits, but they still... Read more »

5 Jobs That Make Great Lovers (Probably)

Totally unrelated: This song is awesome and get used to hearing it everywhere soon: <p><p><p>
You know how certain jobs, and more specifically, the people who do them, seem to lend themselves to others fantasizing about them? Yoga Instructors come to mind. If a dude hears that his buddy is dating a yoga instructor, he will immediately inquire about her flexibility. Gymnasts? Same thing. Women tend to go with guys... Read more »
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