Posts in category "Advice"

10 Out of 10 Kids Love Snowstorms, and 10/10 Grown ups Hate Them. Does Hating Snow Make us old?

10 Out of 10 Kids Love Snowstorms, and 10/10 Grown ups Hate Them. Does Hating Snow Make us old?
Imagine you are in charge of spreading the word about a major snowstorm, and you’re tasked with informing two different groups (of roughly about 100 people) of the storm. Your first stop will be at a Fortune 500 insurance company, and the second will be an elementary school. Once all the insurance people shuffle into... Read more »

5 Things I'd Tell Kanye West at his Sorely-Needed Intervention

5 Things I'd Tell Kanye West at his Sorely-Needed Intervention
“I met ye’s music when I was 24 years old and what I loved most he had so much soul…”   1) Maybe it’s time to go back to keeping it real This would be a great time for you to take your shtick down a notch. Your current egomania was fueled by your early... Read more »

Crappy Thanksgiving: Pranks I'd Like to see Pulled in Stores Open on Thanksgiving

Crappy Thanksgiving: Pranks I'd Like to see Pulled in Stores Open on Thanksgiving
In dishonor of Wal-Mart, Best Buy, K-Mart, Sears, Bass Pro Shops, Dick Sporting Goods, The Gap, Banana Republic, Old Navy, Staples, Office Depot, Michaels, Big Lots, Kohls, JC Penney and Toys R Us staying open on Thanksgiving we decided to run a truncated theme for the first three days of Thanksgiving week: Crappy Holidays. You... Read more »
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6 Best Amicable Breakup Songs

6 Best Amicable Breakup Songs
My favorite line of Woody Allen’s amicable breakup movie, Annie Hall, is his narration at the end that begins like this: Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I… I realized what a terrific person she was, and… and how... Read more »

6 Ways Wes Welker Should Answer the Manning vs. Brady Question

6 Ways Wes Welker Should Answer the Manning vs. Brady Question
As the only player (so far) to catch a touchdown pass from Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, Wes Welker for will forever be asked:  Tom Brady vs. Peyton Manning, who ya got? Since thinking about how many times he will be asked at that exact question throughout  the rest of his life almost makes me... Read more »

4 Snappy Comebacks to Combat Dumb Crap you Hear Everyday

Street Accoster: Do you have a minute for the environment?   <br><br>        You: I do. But this isn't it.  <br><br> This is the best antidote to that ubiquitous passive-aggressive-guilt-inducing opening line, trust me.  Their question is NOT asking, "do you have A minute...?", it's asking if you have THIS EXACT minute, and that's a lot different. If THEY love the environment so much, wouldn't they work around your schedule? There are 1,440 minutes in a day, so the odds of them asking me during that exact minute are actually pretty horrible, and that's assuming I have a minute.
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My Favorite Tweets of 2012

This one killed me and so does that picture of Willy.
Upon realizing I tend to take screen grabs of about 85% of my favorite tweets, I decided to make a list of my favorites from 2012. Happy New Year from all of us at Lists That Actually Matter and Happy Year, even when it’s old.

Let's Retire the Word,"Evil", Like the Intellectual Grown-ups That we are

Let's Retire the Word,"Evil", Like the Intellectual Grown-ups That we are
Sometimes when a person uses just one word, you can tell a lot about them just because they used that one word.  When I hear someone describing a bruise as a “hematoma” for instance, I reflexively think that person has had some medical training. Similarly, when I hear someone pronounce New Orleans as, “Nawlins”, I... Read more »

10 Substitutes for True Love

10 Substitutes for True Love
Back in 1967, the Beatles declared to the world, “All you need is love.” Given the fact that they were decades away from streaming on Netflix or eating a Pizza Hut P’zone, who can blame them for their simplistic ignorance? And maybe if the Fab Four had ever experienced the true love of spellcheck, those... Read more »
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6 Ways to Make Your Job More Like College

6 Ways to Make Your Job More Like College
A few words of advice to the graduating class of 2012 from Dan P, the assistant professor of partying all/some of the time. I’d like to congratulate the class of 2012 and welcome them to the work world. As much fun as college was, you unfortunately cannot make a career out of chugging booze, creeping... Read more »