NFL Playoff Matchups of Annoying Fan Bases

NFL Playoff Matchups of Annoying Fan Bases

Only when you  support a team is it easy to figure out which team is in your best interest to cheer for.  But if you don't really care about either team, your self-interest focuses from, "Which team would make me happier to see in the Super Bowl?" to, "Which team would be less annoying to have in the Super Bowl?".

Your motivation shifts from thrill-seeking to loss-aversion. Since you can't have your ideal outcome (your time in the Super Bowl) the best you can hope for is the less annoying team makes it.

So when your team isn't playing, in order to determine which team you want to win, you have to analyze a lot of (biased, generalized, partial, anecdotal) information in order to arrive at your ideal scenario. That's a lot of work, so to help with that I enlisted  fellow LTAM writer (and trailblazing chronicler of annoying fan bases) Dan Tello and my friend Professor Pim P. Dingles in helping minimize your cognitive duress.

 

 AFC Championship: Boston/New England vs. Denver

DanTello: Does anyone want Massholes to win two Championships in 6 months?

Professor Pim P. Dingles: Boston smells like it looks.

TR Slyder: Sometimes I hate Boston fans as much as they hate pronouncing their R's.

Denver

DanTello: Clearly, Peyton Manning knew someone in politics who advised him to buy pizza franchises in a state about to legalize weed.

Professor Pim P. Dingles: Home of skiing, weed and mass shootings. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

TR Slyder: I'm afraid of seeing a Denver fan at a Super Bowl party saying, "I love our team's chances with Peyton Manning aboard. Plus you gotta Denver's craft beer scene, the weather, scenery, proximity to skiing, hiking trails..." while wearing Crocs, wool socks, cargo shorts and a fleece vest.

  And let us not forget about the NFC game: Seattle vs. San Francisco

San Francisco

DanTello: Their fans are too busy developing an app to know they are on the way to the Super Bowl.

Professor Pim P. Dingles: The only town where you can get seasick on land.

TR Slyder: I bet Seattle fans hope 49er fans don't bring their California Cool style of  fandom into Washington. And by  "California Cool"  I mean where they murder members of other fan bases.

Seattle

DanTello:  Haven't you heard?  They already set the world record for having the loudest fans!  OMG, they are so cray!!!!! Who knew that cheerleaders all retire to Seattle?

Professor Pim P. Dingles: Come for the music scene, leave just like the Seattle Pilots and Seattle Sonics wisely did.

TR Slyder: Between Seattle loving their MLS team to an eerie degree and generating seismic activity at Seahawks games with their cheering, it's almost like they are insecure in their fanhood and have to go outta their way to display they care too much. Oh right, that is what's happening after the Super Sonic's were cruelly ripped away from them and now we all have to pay. Thanks NBA.

Leave a comment