4 Reasons Jon Stewart Should Shut His Pizza Pie Hole

4 Reasons Jon Stewart Should Shut His Pizza Pie Hole

1. The only reason you don't call it "New York style pizza", is because you are already in New York, tough guy. The rest of the country calls your pizza, "New York style pizza", I'll that you that for free.


2. For a guy that fakes an Italian accent so often, you'd think Jon Stewart would know it's often called a pizza pie, or especially in New Jersey, where he's from- a pie. If that floppy, wafer-thin, Pizza-the-Hut-Thong they call pizza resembles a pie, then I don't want to agree with them over what constitutes a good pizza.







3. Dirty-city-dwelling New Yorkers have a huge triangle of greasy cheese on limp bread and call that pizza. Where I'm from that's what pizza delivery joints call cheesey bread and they serve it as an appetizer for an actual pizza.

4. Speaking of an actual pizza. In Chicago we order pizza by the pizza and when we get a pizza we share it with our friends.  But in New York is it ordered by the individual slice for some reason.

Is that some kinda self-loathing pizza shame thing? Like you just order it, and eat it quickly on the movie with your head down so no one from Chicago will catch you eating that yard o' limp cheese bread?

UPDATE: Bonus 5th reason: If "deep dish" is so abhorrent and stupid because no one wants pizza that thick, how come the first thing you do when you grab a New York Style slice is to FOLD IT IN HALF TO MAKE IT THICKER??? Why not just make it more intelligently that way you can eat it like a civilized human?


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  • Maybe if Chicago pizzas were Democrats Jon Stewart like them?

    Just joking. C'mon!

    Go get him, Lists.... what does Jon know about anything west of the Hudson?

  • In reply to Richard Davis:

    Thanks man. Who know how us straight-ticket Dems like our deep dish! And if I did make the flow chart, this would fall under your heading of Democrat lies....

  • LOL!! LOVE this article!!
    you are amazing!! :-D

  • In reply to Jennyfer:

    Thanks! I am glad you liked it!

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