Christopher Dorner Celebrity Love Child Investigation

Platypuses, The Bermuda Triangle and The Taos Hum serve to remind us that we humans do not have all the answers.  Some people find such mysteries to be a fun curiosity, while others view them as an affront to mankind's empirical knowledge.

Being that I am a bit of an arm-chair celebrity geneticist (successful instances here and here), I couldn't help but feel insulted that no one had been able to track down the confessed murderer, wildly intriguing manifesto writer, LAPD Manhunt'd Christopher Dorner's parents, so I decided to find them myself.

However, being that Mr. Dolan is believed to be a criminal mastermind, we cannot be sure he did not alter his birth certificate or other personal information. Therefore, finding his parents on a birth certificate would be futile. I'd have to find out their identities by other means. But how?

Finally it hit me and I was able to track down his real parents immediately on the internet!! Now, I can't precisely explain how these two could combine their DNA and have a lovechild, but it happened. And you can believe Lists That Actually Matter when we tell you that when this murderer's lineage is fully understood, it will be sure to join the platypus on the mantle of odd junk science can't explain.

Call me crazy (attractive) but I am pretty sure this isn't even disprove-able.


Leave a comment