A Valentine's Day Guide to Male Sexual Endurance

Let's face it guys, there is a lot riding on your sexual performance tonight (get it?). A lot can go wrong- if you conclude the amorous liaison too quickly, you're a two-pump chump, but if you go on too long, she may wonder what she's doing wrong or why you have the potency of a bi-curious octogenarian.

We at Lists That Actually Matter can't solve all the world's problems, but we can at least try to solve the former problem.

Guys, keep these helpful reminders in mind if you find yourself trying to extend your carnal bliss this evening. Good luck and God's speed stamina.

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