Five Characteristics of the Effective Protester

Five Characteristics of the Effective Protester

The NATO summit began yesterday in Chicago. I know, it was news to me, too. I didn't hear a word about it and I watch the news every day; you'd think Seacrest or Giuliana would've mentioned something. But it is apparently something people are talking about, and a big reason has been the potential for significant public protests. From the Tea Party to the Occupy Movement and every cause in between, protesting is totally hot right now. Even celebrities are doing it. They're just like us! Want to get in on it but as of yesterday you thought the term "freedom of assembly" was just Ikea semantics? No worries. We can get you up to speed and out there participating in democracy in no time.

Outrage It doesn't matter what it's about, you just need a common enemy people can rally against. So look out, restaurants that charge for refills.

Thick Skin No, in the literal sense. You'll need to be able to withstand a few rounds of rubber bullets if you're going to make it to the big tear gas finale.

Ability to Rhyme Rhyming chants are easier to remember and, hence, are more likely to have a lasting impact on fellow protesters and passersby wondering why you're standing outside the public library in a Scream mask. Fact of the matter is, rhymes simply test better with the coveted 18-34 civilly disobedient demographic than old "what do we want/when do we want it" call-and-response style chants.

Willingness to Get Arrested If a person believes in something so strongly that they're willing to go to jail for it, that's really saying something. Taking that and my prior arrest record into account, you can tell how passionately I must feel about the issue of urinating in public.

Strong Signage Proofreading Skills

Like us on Facebook. It's a cause we can all get behind.


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  • How about this mistake under the "Morans" sign? "Like us on Facebook. It's a cause we can all get behind." Now who's the moran who wrote that?

  • In reply to Tzippo:

    I'm a little bit sleep-deprived after keeping track of the protesters last night, or perhaps I need tea, but I'm not entirely clear what mistake you're referring to. Best as I can tell in my groggy-need-tea state, it looks grammatically correct and there are no misspellings.

    On the other hand, I'm not sure why I'm getting into a discussion parsing grammar, spelling, and/or punctuation on a blog post when such debate means nothing in the bigger picture.

    (P.S. Forgive any misspellings or grammar errors on my part in this comment.)

  • In reply to Tzippo:

    TZippo, I am not sure why these nato protests occurred when there are so many other things to protest about, like annoying people on message boards

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    In reply to Tzippo:

    He's a Cardinals fan. What do you expect?

  • Holly,

    It sould read "It's a cause we all can get behind." It's something about grammatical correctness. People follow it about as much as political correctness. Don't worry your pretty head about it the monkeys will be coming soon to take you away. HEEE hehehehe!

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