The Rules of the Jeremy Lin Drinking Game

The Rules of the Jeremy Lin Drinking Game

After the sports world was slapped time and time again across the face with Tebow-Mania, here at LTAM we did the only logical thing possible, create the Tim Tebow Drinking Game.  Now that God has once again teamed up with another professional athlete, we only had one option left; create the Jeremy Lin Drinking Game.  So courtesy of LTAM, here is yet another opportunity to kickback, grab a case of cheap beer, and enjoy the first 3 quarters of an NBA game for the first time since Michael Jordan retired.

The Hater's Rule: Drink every time Jeremy Lin has a turnover:  Jeremy Lin, in the midst of his flurry of assists, points, and game-winners, has also turned the rock over a lot.  The Haters (*cough* Floyd Mayweather *cough*) will point this out at any opportunity they get.  So, this rule should keep the Haters happy as they begrudgingly watch along with the millions and millions of Lin fans.

Drink every time the announcers mention his Asian descent or massive Chinese/Taiwanese following:  Apparently the announcers are terrified that a viewer at home might be blind and not have been around a TV or radio in the last 2 weeks because they keep pointing out that Jerm is not white, black, or hispanic, but in fact Asian.

Drink every time his Harvard education is referenced: Oh, did Lin just make a "heady" play? Go ahead, announcer, tell us about his glorious undergraduate education.

I already assumed he was a genius because I assume all Asians are geniuses until proven otherwise, but being a star NBA player as well as a Harvard alum is exactly why the phrase "sometimes God gives with both hands" was created.  And, God, if your goal with this whole Tebow/Lin phenomenon was to get people to go to church more often, mission accomplished.

Speaking of religion, Drink every time his deep devotion to the Christian faith is referenced: God? Ever heard of him?  Yeah, he's boys with Lin.  No big deal.

Drink every time he points to the sky in thanks.

Finish your beer every time he thanks God in a post-game interview:  Okay, I promise that is my last religion based drinking rule.  I am now feeling terrible about myself.

Finish your beer every time he defers credit for a win to his teammates: Oh.  Did I mention that Jeremy Lin is totally selfless and the nicest guy ever?  Because in case I did forget, don't worry because...

the announcers are sure to remind you, so Drink every time his selfless, team-first personality is referenced.

Drink every time you are reminded that he was cut from not 1, but 2 NBA teams:  The Rockets and Warriors GMs (the two GMs to cut Lin) have to be considering hiring a hitman to take out Lin before Linsanity costs them their jobs.

Finish your beer ever time his couch-surfing is referenced:  Jeremy slept on a couch for a few weeks before recently leasing an apartment in the Trump Towers because when you've been cut twice in the past year, you don't want to find yourself locked into an overpriced NYC apartment.  Or, in other words, Jeremy Lin's logic is the exact opposite of Eddie Curry's.

Drink every time his name is used in word-play or as a pun: Linsanity, all he does is Lin, just Lin baby, Lintastic, Linderalla Story, Lincredible, Super Lintendo Va-Lin-tines Day... you get the picture.  Jeremy Lin, you are on pace to pass up "show me the money" as the most overused phrase in the history of America pop culture.

Finish your beer every time Linsanity is compared to Tebow-Mania.

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  • This list is a Linstant Classic (get it??!!!)!! *taking a drink for the Lin pun*

  • I'm drunk on Lin & juice already!

  • This post is genius. Capturing the zeitgeist. And will help spur the economic recovery through copious consumption of PBR and gin and juice. Thanx!

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