Kim Kardashian's Future Husband Pool

Kim Kardashian's Future Husband Pool

Straight  up- I lifted this idea from Grantland.com. I thought the idea was brilliant, yet poorly executed by the contributors. In other words, I wished I had thought of that and I think I can do better. Here's my attempt.

The best possible outcome for the Kardashians from here is that they wind up like the Gabor sisters- old chicks that were somehow in the news because they used to be pretty and/or rich and they dated a lot. At least that was the best for the two non-Kims. I imagine Kim's upside to being somewhere between Zsa-Zsa and Liz Taylor. All she brings to the table is looks, and therefore all she can really offer the gossip world is a bunch of high-profile romances. That's her only hope.

So here are the husband betting odds:

 

Reggie Bush, 1-1; Even Money Favorite

I've been hearing the whispers on MediaTakeOut (update: and PageSix). It's perfect for both of them- Reggie wants to be more Hollywood but his football talents won't allow it, and she needs a high profile man to date, and this is the perfect PR move for her- moving toward stability or something humanizing her in an  "Awww, maybe she always loved him afterall!" kinda way.

Kanye West, 10-1; Beard at best, Rich and Cool at Worst

It's rumored that Reggie Bush caught Kim sending instant messages on her laptop to Kanye and that's why they broke up.

Plus Yeezy will be rich forever, athletes can't always say that nowadays; and Kanye will be cool forever too, you can't always say that with athletes either. Oh and if Kanye's gay and she gets paid to be his beard and can agree to have her fun discreetly on the side, that might be the perfect gig for her.

Justin Bieber, 25-1; Take That 'Tweens! I'm Kim K., Betch!

Kim loved tweeting the picture of her and the Bieb  a year or so ago and the shockwave it sent through the pre-teen Biebosphere.  Then recently Kim tweeted what she said was Justin Bieber's cell phone #, but it was actually the # to vote for her brother on Dancing With The Stars, so clearly she is enamored with Bieb Buzz.  This could get the Bieb a more mature fanbase and make Kim seem 5 years younger. Plus I read in the Bieb's paternity suit that he lasted an entire 30 seconds during the alleged conception.

Lindsay Lohan, 5-1

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was a celebrity death pool.

Jay Cutler,  60-1; Veteran of the Game

Jay got a taste of some reality star lovin and he may wanna climb all the way up the reality star food chain. Plus, she'd stay tabloid-relevant and would always be a big star in little old Chicago.

Rick Ross, 74-1, Rapper Near-Death? Yes Please!

Rick Ross is a popular Miami-based rapper who made headlines recently for having two seizures in one day- both aboard (different) airplane flights. One of his homies told MediaTakeOut it was because Ross smoked 100 blunts that day, but I'm thinking he smoked a lot and this wealthy, popular rapper is just in poor health. Oh and he lives where Kim's sisters live.  Ka-Ching!

Drake, 75-1; The Segue Tour

Since she married a white guy, maybe she's trying to give up the brothers for white guys. Since Drake is half black and half Jewish, such an arrangement could be a nice segue for her from rap to Hollywood for Kim.

Herman Cain, 250-1; Old Money

He's a CEO, he's famous and he's not afraid to show his naughty side to the ladies (against their will). But maybe if Godfather's Pizza starts advertising during next season of Ryan Secrest Presents: Kim Got Another Divorce, Kim will be willing. To paraphrase 50 Cent- he'll take her to the Cain-dy Shop.

Lamar Odom, 400-1; The Ultimate Betrayal

IF he and Khloe ever divorced think about the fame these two would get! It would be the hottest they ever been or ever would be. Can Khloe stay married to an NBA player forever? Can Kim say no?

 

I ammended these odds from the original posting- please note they're subject to change as more info arrives-

All Non- Douchebags: 8/5

All Douchebags: 4/5

Black Dude: 1/5

White Dude: 5/2

All other races and combinations: 5-1

Intelligent, Non-Douchebag, college-grad, never married: 100-1

 

Comments

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  • I may take Drake at those odds, then hedge with an All Douchebags bet.

    Where's Tiger Woods?

  • In an Orlando Ponderosa bathroom in with two waitresses.

    Tiger is too used goods/baggagey for Kim. At this stage she is looking for a guy more famous than her to get her back in gossip rags for doing cool stuff instead of being sad all the time, OR a guy who is stable and shows the world that she isn't a fame-prostitute.

    Any suggestions along those lines? I'm not opposed to editing this list even though it's published.

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