After Cutler's domination of the dog killing Eagles, he has now turned his attention and confidence to Detroit, the same team that attempted to murder him a few weeks ago on Monday Night Football. This has led Jay to be very vocal in the locker room this week, and here are the 5 things Jay was overheard saying to his teammates.
To the Offensive Line: Seriously, don't get cocky. That was 1 week. My future arthritis and brain damage has not forgotten about the last 20 games. I'm instituting a new incentive system: For every sack allowed, you each have to spend 1 hour alone with Martz as he reads the playbook aloud to you.
To the Wide Receivers: You guys suck. Chicks orgasm when they see my spiral and velocity, and you guys can't even catch those panty-dropping spiralling missiles. If Martz would let me throw to myself, I would do it. Wait, not you, Earl. I love you, bro. We go back further than K-Cavs and I do. I know being the only black guy at Vanderbilt was tough, but we got through it together. But, the rest of you losers, get faster or get better hands. Or, if your name is Roy Williams, get both.
To Matt Forte: Just because I don't throw any interceptions, doesn't mean you can start fumbling. We can't possibly blame the receivers or Martz for your fumbles, so lock it up or I'll personally slap that franchise tag on you.
To Julius Peppers: I want you to kill Matthew Stafford. I am the only QB in the NFL who can rock that Southern Frat Boy look. Either shave his head or end his career. Your call.
To Mike Martz: How many times do I have to tell you to f*ck off before you actually f*ck off. Chicks at the club listen better than you do.