In November, Lists That Actually Matter's very own DanTello was kind enough to post Top 9 Annoying Things People do on Facebook. Whereas DanTello hates the sins of Facebook, I hate the sinners. Lemme at 'em.
We all know a lot of Facebook over-sharers; they're the weeds in the garden of Facebook. Well, that and the zero-privacy and harvesting of personal data.
2. Complainers, AKA Those Who Chum the Waters of Lake Compliment
It seems like people gripe on Facebook because they know they'll immediately get 3 or 4 compliments in return, which will ostensibly counteract their previously glum emotions. It's like they were just chumming the waters of Lake Compliment to see what their compliment net would drag in.
Remember on Full House how much of a wussy we all thought Danny Tanner was when he'd come running after D.J. as she cried and ran off to her room like a 10 year old girl? Well,
Griping on Facebook : 3 instant compliments :: DJ Tanner Crying : Danny chasing her up the stairs saying, "Deej, wait...."
- Pictured: Four Squares
3. FourSquare.com Squares
If I cared about foursquare.com I would be on foursquare.com and not Facebook.com, and if I cared about where you were I would be there with you or I would've asked you where you were. I'm glad we had this talk.
4. Those Who Assume Facebook is a Fixture of Human Life
Sure the new Facebook changes suck, so use facebook less. Don't take to Facebook to gripe about the changes you have no choice but to helplessly bend over and take.
It makes you sound like a jilted lover- you're frustrated by your partner but vow to stick with them and take the bad with the good. The classic Prince song, "If I was Your Girlfriend", contains one of my favorite lines in all of popular music. In that song Prince asks, "Would you run to me if somebody hurt you- even if that somebody was me?". That line cuts to the core of REAL love. Love can make you HAVE to grovel a bit and lay yourself out emotionally, because well.... you just have to. Same way a moth just has to fly towards a light in the night.
Awwww, they ran to Facebook when someobody hurt them, even when that somebody was Facebook. They really love Facebook a they're drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
I invite the world to point and laugh at those people.
5. Facebook Gurus
Because no one ever said, "I want to be inspired, wowed and intellectually transformed. I know! I'll log onto Facebook!".
- 6. The Humble Braggarts
I didn't invent the concept of the Humblebrag, but it's omnipresent on Facebook with status updates like, "So embarassed I almost spilled my '87 Veuve at this totally exclusive party! Such a klutz!!", or, "Definitely the palest person in Cozumel!". Just outright brag and cut the B.S..
7. Practitioners of the Brag Check-in
Did you see your friend that lives in BallLick, Indiana and never goes out on weekends just "Checked in" to the The Wynn and is officially cooler than you? Total coincidence he never checks in to his apartment on the other 51 Saturdays a year.
8. Food Photographers
Not interested. If you want to make a memorable picture memory from that meal send me a picture after it comes out. At least I'd remember that picture a day later.
9. Interrupters of Real Life to Facebook
When you go somewhere cool, walk in and say something like "This concert is/club/party/bar is AWESOME! Holy crap, dude!!!", then brandish your smartphone thereby pulling yourself away from what you just said was awesome, you probably do it, thinking all your friends will be excited that you're doing something so cool. But what really happens is your friends read it and say , "What an annoying practitioner of the Brag Check-in!".