12 Best Parts of my Trip to the Lincoln Park Zoo

I recently walked to the Lincoln Park Zoo and here is the awesome that befell me.


1. Pleasant  Surrounding Views

You see plenty of views of the Hancock Tower, but not this one very often. The gardens south of the Arboretum are gorgeously maintained.

2. Lincoln Park Residents Flushing Expired Viagra has Affected the Water Supply

It's not that I've read that or anything, but I assumed. So yeah, I'm ready to start that rumor. This fountain is Exhibit A.


3. Laze

Just lion about. (I'm not apologizing for that pun)


 4. The Sun Bear was Eating Some Kind of a Femur

Sun Bear ate it straight out of the (ostensible) Moo n Oink box. That was cool to see.


5. Proper Usage of the Word "Unique"!!

I was so excited to see this.  Zoologists are very sharp people.

6.  Pygmy Hippopotamus 

After entering the African Journey and walking around a bit you walk into a new room with a huge plexiglass wall, and the floor is all spongy and feels cool.  On the other side of the glass is like a pond with a ton of fish and a pygmy hippopotamus just doin his thang.


 8. Giraffes

They're my mother's favorite animal so they get a spot here.  Anytime a zoo has huge animals  you gotta love it.


 9. Love This Quotation

Well said, Margaret Mead.


10. Just a Zebra enjoying a distended I mean extended weekend. 

No big deal, just hangin out.  Maybe his dingler was the next contestant on the Price is Right.

11. Mmmm, More Trash Iced Coffee, Please!

I promise it was more noticeable if you were there in person. and an a-hole. In all fairness, I bought an iced coffee there and it was delicious.  The nice girl behind the counter politely told me I was the first person to notice the "Trash Iced Coffee" sign.

12. Oh and This

Lists That Actually Matter is happy to announce our own YouTube Channel. Please check it out when you get a minute.

Our first installment from our YouTube page will be my four-piece part of a chimpanzee making its bed. It appears as though the chimps and lions shared the idea of napping. All the Chimps were conked out until finally this last guy slowly made himself a bed and crashed. In the background can be seen someone else preparing to nap with a blankey.  I hope you enjoy.





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  • My girlfriend is not impressed with that zebra's penis.

  • lol. That was the funniest comment on one of my posts in a while.

  • I just noticed I forgot a #7

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