In May I wrote a list of 11 phrases I find stupid. I thought of 11 more.
1. Any way, Shape or Form
Want to make a moron stutter? When they say "any way, shape or form", ask them what the difference is between shape and form. Or how "Any way, shape or form", is appreciably different from "any way".
2. "Obviously....". When it isn't Obvious.
Obviously this one annoys me because it's obvious I hate incorrect word usage. With my last list of annoying phrases being my most popular list to date, I obviously was going to write another list like that. Plus it is Sunday which obviously is the day I am most likely to write a blog list. So it is obvious that this is on the list.
3. Drugs and Alcohol
Alcohol is a drug. And by the way, today I plan to watch sports and baseball.
This one annoys everyone. The prefix "ir-" means "not", and the suffix "-less" means "without". If you're aspiring to be as intelligent as people who use that phrase, I hope when you forget your wallet you remember to say, "Oh no! I am without my walletless!"
5. AnywayS (plural)
As we all can figure out, anyways is a compound word of any + way. When you use the word "any", you are, by definition referring to a plurality of things. You wouldn't say "Choose any of that one sandwich you would like". I guess the superfluous S at the end makes it extra plural.
- Are you as shocked as I am that this picture was taken with a crappy camera?
6. Near Miss
News anchors love this one when it comes to airplanes. "There was a near miss between two planes at Midway Airport this afternoon.". What happened at midway was a miss, not a near miss. A near miss would mean two plans barely collided, or grazed one another. If two planes almost touch but don't, that is a near hit. (This was suggested to me by my co-worker Gary).
7. Don't Overdo it
Chefs on cooking shows sometimes remind us, "Don't add too much", of a certain ingredient. So what you're saying is don't put in quantity so great that it makes the food taste bad. Ohhh, I was going to intentionally ruin my food by adding a pound of paprika to my paella. Got it. Thanks.
8. Safe Haven
Haven means safe place. If you had a haven that weren't safe, it wouldn't be a haven. Although, maybe there could theoretically be a haven for violence. Like the two that Mayors Daley made on the Southside and Westside of Chicago.
9. "Usually Always" or "I Guarantee he Probably Will"
These are errors of logic. While discussing this type of thing, it's almost a rule to mention the adage, "A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.". Fortunately there is already a word that means "usually always". It is "usually".
10. Old Adage
using the word "adage" reminds me that it also annoys me when people say, "old adage". You can say "old saying", or "old phrase", but the word "adage" implies age. Lil Wayne may coin a lot of slang phrases, but he has yet to coin an adage. Though it would amuse the hell out of me if in 60 years my grandkids told me the old Li'l Wayne adage, "Rims hella big, tires skinny like Chris Rock."
11. Schizophrenic, when implying multiple personalities.
Sportscasters love calling inconsistent teams Schizophrenic. I've heard Chris Berman use that word incorrectly several times.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia include disjointed thoughts, hallucinations, and delusions and are completely separate from Dissociative Personality Disorder (commonly called Multiple Personality Disorder).
Confusing Dissociative Disorder with Schizophrenia (a Psychotic Disorder) is about as intelligent as confusing cancer with herpes.
Usually I'm always a grammar stickler in every way shape and form, but sometimes I'm not- I guess I'm just schizophrenic like that. Irregardless, I obviously like blogging because it's a safe haven for my grammar rants. Most people don't appreciate me calling them stupid, if anyone ever tries to punch me because of it, I sure hope it results in a near miss. And no, I'm not up under the influence of drugs OR alcohol (for the moment, anywayS).