The Seven People You See at the Gym

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Much like the Ancient Greeks, people today only work out so that they can gorge themselves on gyros during celebrations to honor the gods. But did you know there are also various health benefits associated with regular exercise? It came as news to me, too. And when I heard, I immediately ordered extra tzatziki sauce, as a thanks offering to Stairmaster, god of ceaseless climbing. Then I went out and joined a gym. There, I noticed these seven regulars.

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  • I agree that 60 seems to be the magical age where nude lockroom masquerading becomes a good idea. Not sure how that works.

  • In reply to TRSlyder:

    Awesome list. I also love the conversationalist: the guy you kinda knew in high school who stops and talks to you for 20 minutes every time you see him at the gym.

  • In reply to TRSlyder:

    I think it's tied to social security or something.

  • In reply to TRSlyder:

    Why are we so uptight about our nude bodies?Blacked out flaccid penises and butt cracks.We all have genitalia and butt cracks.What's the big deal here?Look, I remember a guy who was about 65-70,overweight and mottled skin, who walked around nude in the locker room.Certainly not pleasant, but maybe if we could all be as comfortable w/our bodies, we could start to embrace the aging process,and stop feeling as if aging is some sort of disease to be corrected surgically.

  • In reply to tet43:

    Well said!

  • In reply to tet43:

    You forgot stinky same-outfit-for-three-months guy. Some people think leaving their workout clothes for gym hours makes them clean themselves.

  • In reply to MySportsComplex:

    haha. love that guy. he made the move from yellow pit stains to holes in the arm-pits because the fabric has rotted away.

  • In reply to MySportsComplex:

    Just realized I forgot the Working-Out-In-Jeans person. So ashamed.

  • In reply to MySportsComplex:

    I also like the new gym members who were super psyched to join and bought all new, expensive workout clothes but they go to the gym like once a week for 20 minutes. Tennis moms love doing this- the most expensive everything and absolutely no athletic talent.

  • In reply to MySportsComplex:

    What about the over aggressive personal trainer. Bugging you about packages and buying memberships. Those people are the MOST annoying. Then you have the "regulars" that look at you like "why are you here?" I say " to eventually look like you and ask other people, why are they here!"

  • In reply to MySportsComplex:

    More often than not a person will fit into more than one of these categories

  • In reply to MySportsComplex:

    1. People doing that row machine pully thing that think they're getting a good workout.

    2. The 40 something year old every day gym guy desperately trying to stay young, that asks everybody how his abs look and tells them what club in Miami he was at last weekend.

    3. Guy with massive booty sweat, who refuses to wipe down machines after use.

  • In reply to MySportsComplex:

    Absolutely hilarious because it is all true!

  • In reply to TRSlyder:

    The Naked Swim Ladies. It's why I now work out over the noon hour instead of first thing in the morning.

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  • You find some people who look good and feel good on the outside have nothing good to show from the inside. They don’t consider that if everyone were to “reserve” one machine, then everybody can add an extra 30 minutes to 1 hour to their gym time. What a waste of time!
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