Top 5 people you will see at Wrigley Field on Opening Day

Hopefully you fall into one of these 5 categories, or you will be watching the Cubs take on the Pirates from the comfort of your very own
cubicle.

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  • One time at Wrigley I walked into the men's room and a super fat dude had his pants around his ankles at the trough, which was odd. What was more odd was that I could clearly see he was peeing directly down into his pants around his ankles. He was so drunk he wasn't peeing into the urinal, he was peeing straight down between his shoes. He then pulled up his pants and stumbled out with a HUGE HUGE HUGE wet spot on his buns. That's all I remember about that game.

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