Archive for March 2011

Top 5 people you will see at Wrigley Field on Opening Day

Top 5 people you will see at Wrigley Field on Opening Day
Hopefully you fall into one of these 5 categories, or you will be watching the Cubs take on the Pirates from the comfort of your very own cubicle. ————————“Like” Lists That Actually Matter on Facebook.

4 Reasons Jalen Rose's Drunk Driving Apology was Laughably Bad

That totally makes sense. And it saves me time because my first question was going to be, "Will your alibi be, 'Someone kidnapped my family and told me that I'd never see them again unless I bonged 6 beers in 15 minutes with some girls at Outback Steakhouse and then immediately drive away drunk. So I did it. That being said, I'd also like to add that I'd like this legal matter to hang over my head for quite some time before I get it resolved.'?". But that sentence cleared it up.
Drunk driving. Classy. His full speech:   “Although I was not feeling impaired, the results of these tests indicate that my blood alcohol level was above the legal limit. “I regret the decision to drive home that evening and am grateful that no one was hurt in the accident. I apologize to my family, my... Read more »

25 Best Baseball Mullets

25 Best Baseball Mullets
You might look at these 25 men and think that they’re all business. But a simple swing around to the back and you’ll see that they like to party, too. Having already talked about some of the finest facial hair in the business a few weeks back, it would be negligent for us to ignore... Read more »
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6 Phrases You Didn't Know Came From Horse Racing

Wire to Wire <br><br>Races used to start from the finish wire. When a horse won after leading every step of the race, he was in front wire to wire.
Pretty self-explanatory. Let’s get to the list. Friend us on Facebook

Emerging Chicago Talent of the Week: 5 Reasons to See Lubriphonic This Friday

Emerging Chicago Talent of the Week: 5 Reasons to See Lubriphonic This Friday
Weekly rituals are part of what make institutions last, like frats shooting BBs through a pledge’s scrotum or executives clearing the search history of their company laptop.  So we’re going to do the same, and start a weekly tradition.  Each week we’ll feature a different emerging Chicago talent, be it a musician, band, painter, comedian,... Read more »

Six Great Cinderella Runs to the Elite Eight (post- '94 Boston College)

If Butler's 2011 Final Four run lacked the magic of 2010, it's only because the magic of the school's first Final Four AND reaching a Final Four in their home town was impossible to top one year later. Of course, that team's Cinderella status rose even higher when they chipped past Michigan State and were inches away from a national championship. If Mack/Howard can win two more games, this bunch will be remembered even longer.
Back in 1994, the North Carolina Tar Heels were SERIOUS. The defending champs retained their best player (Eric Montross) and two other starters, and added freshmen Jerry Stackhouse, Rasheed Wallace, and Jeff McInnis. I was entering year 3 of an impressive 17 year sports fan prime, and having just been schooled by LJ&Augmon&UNLV, Laetner&Hurley&Duke, and... Read more »
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10 Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgeries/ Botox Jobs

10 Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgeries/ Botox Jobs
I try not to insult people’s looks on this blog. But people who get these kinds of plastic surgeries deserve it. Technically, they tried to make us look bad by getting plastic surgery. Well, today we’re gonna make them look bad. Or more accurately, worse.       facebook.com/liststhatactuallymatter Follow @AndyDisco on Twitter

The Rules of Remote Control Handling

The Rules of Remote Control Handling
Remote handling is like driving a car- everyone swears they are above average at it, but math tells us half of the population isn’t. Have you ever met anyone who said, “I watch terrible shows on TV and should never hold a remote control.”? Of course you haven’t. Some say it is both an art... Read more »

Six Terrible Pop Songs You Secretly Enjoy

You knew this was coming. You know what? It's not that terrible. Rick Roll that.
I finally listened to Rebecca Black’s Friday. Here’s how it happened: a friend in a Google email group sent the link to a bunch of us, telling us how terrible it was, and I turned it on, saw the 32 million views, listened until she started singing, and then said, “Holy crap, this IS terrible!”... Read more »
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Top 5 Overused Selling Points

5. Applewood Smoked: Is it that every piece of available bacon is actually smoked over applewood? Or is it possible that "applewood smoked" is just bacon's real first name and I've been calling it by the wrong name all these years? Thanks a lot for never correcting me, you guys. I feel so stupid.
Some people are so susceptible to advertising. Poor saps will believe anything a commercial tells them. Not me. I come to my own conclusions. Ain’t no doctor gonna tell me how long my erection should last! But those not quite as sophisticated as myself may still be taken in by some of the following overused... Read more »