Top 5 Habits of the Annoying Driver

I drive to work. If you drive to work, chances are I hate you. Because chances are, you do one of these five things, if not two or three of them. And if you do, I don't wish harm or an untimely end on you, as some other, less measured people might. On the contrary, I hope you have many years ahead, just with an unexplained tickle in your anus that never goes away. I hope you spend years seeing doctors and trying to treat it with hundreds of pungent creams and ointments that make maintaining any level of intimacy with your significant other nearly impossible. But you stay together for your kids, who, by the way, will start telling friends that you're dead because it's easier than telling them the truth. Then the discomfort gets to the point where sitting, even with a specially designed doughnut pillow, is an unpleasant experience and you have to stop driving to work. Either that or your car breaks down. Whatever gets you off the road.

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  • If you pull out while waiting to turn left, you risk receiving a ticket at intersections with traffic cameras. You need to wait for traffic to clear before you can proceed...at which point, the light may be red.

  • In reply to chicagofingers:

    What? If you get that ticket then you contest it because you are doing the right thing by pulling out. Get a spine.

  • In reply to chicagofingers:

    Awesome list and so accurate.

    ANYBODY who disagrees with anything on this list is definitely driving-challenged and needs to stay off of the roads because YOU are the problem.

  • In reply to ANewApproach:

    You are an idiot.

  • In reply to markploch:

    Eloquent.

  • In reply to ANewApproach:

    I wents to college.

  • In reply to markploch:

    Well, at least you have a sense of humor.

    Points for that.

  • In reply to ANewApproach:

    What drives me crazy is the drivers who realized that they should have turned left at the intersection that they are now driving through and stop in the straight lane to make the turn...who cares about the drivers behind that now miss the light because this idiot chooses to block the straight lane to turn left!

  • In reply to ANewApproach:

    Never mind the completely legitimate complaints; the rant is so funny. I love the writing. I also appreciate the commentary between Mark Ploch and A New Approach: also funny.

    How 'bout those selfish bastages who illegally leave their parked cars on a busy street during rush hour, causing traffic to slow to a crawl? (Anyone here drive east on Addison toward I90 in the mornings? Why don't they ever get tickets?!) I want to key their cars or throw rocks at their houses or set them on fire.

  • In reply to Kikido:

    We actually drive to work in a carpool together.
    Totally kidding.

  • In reply to Kikido:

    Another annoyance. The speed limit is X. The car ahead of you is driving 5 to 7 mph below X, as well as the car in the next lane. Now, I can understand not wanting to drive 70 mph or faster on the Tri-State or the Kennedy and staying in the right lane.

    But, if the speed limit is 45, 40, or even 35, drive the speed limit. Driving 33 in a 40 zone during rush hour is just annoying.

  • In reply to Kikido:

    Thank you. Nobody knows how to use the left lane. I'm convinced this would solve 75% of all traffic backups.

  • In reply to markploch:

    You know what's really annoying? When an uptight motorist creates a list to bitch about other motorists. As if the internet wasn't already a breeding ground for mean-spirited ugly cave dwellers.

    None of you have anywhere important to go. You're not ME. I have things to do (like punching the blind). Therefore, the best solution to the problem is for all of you to die, so, I can pass freely.

    P.S. please die at home away from your car, so, there's no traffic.

  • Just drive YOUR car and shut up. You have no idea what going on inside the car that is ruining YOUR day.

  • In reply to markploch:

    Thank YOU for YOUR comment. YOUR objections have been noted.

  • In reply to markploch:

    I have a few complaints about the way people change lanes. I'm on the Xpwy in the far right lane. No cars in front of me and none behind me. A car whizzes past me in the middle lane and quickly moves in front of me and slows down - slower than I'm driving - and then stays there - I have to brake to keep from hitting him. Why does he have to move in front of me when there is no one behind me? This happens frequently on the xpwy.

  • In reply to markploch:

    Uh, no. There are rules for a reason because when you take your car out onto the road with the rest of us because we want to know what you are supposed to be doing.

    Anyone who cannot abide by the rules despite "...what is going on inside the car..." needs to first, shut up themselves and second, get off and stay off the road.

  • What is irritating is when a left turner won't pull into the intersection, but rather, stays behind the line until traffic clears, usually after the light goes yellow. If he pulled into the intersection, the car behind could also turn.

    Another annoyance are people who don't pay attention at a red light. While yacking on the phone, changing the radio and such, the light goes green. For someone in a left-turn lane with a short arrow, this is even more annoying.

    What drives me up the way are people who, rather than turn left at a traffic light, go one block beyond the intersections with the traffic lights, then turn left. Hey, turn left at the light, then make a right turn. It will be faster for you and everyone behind you.

  • Amen on all 5 of these. However, your wish for people that may not be as adept behing the wheel as we are is death and SARS? You consider it "diabolical" when someone taps their brakes repeatedly. You're obviously have a much shorter fuse than me, I just find bad/stupid drivers annoying. Get over yourself. Where you have to can't be THAT important. Peace.

  • Isn't the rule of law to stay behind the line when turning left until you are clear to turn?

  • In reply to markploch:

    (625 ILCS 5/11-801) (from Ch. 95 1/2, par. 11-801)
    (2) The driver of a vehicle intending to turn left at any intersection shall approach the intersection in the extreme left-hand lane lawfully available to traffic moving in the direction of travel of such vehicle, and after entering the intersection, the left turn shall be made so as to leave the intersection in a lane lawfully available to traffic moving in such direction upon the roadway being entered. Whenever practicable the left turn shall be made in that portion of the intersection to the left of the center of the intersection.

  • In reply to markploch:

    First, this sounds like you live with a short fuse; the left turn one has no justification as pointed out with the public law cited.

    But why did you miss the most heinous driver of all? You know the ass-hole who must do 85 and tail-gating those obeying the speed limit? Could it be that fits your profile. Have fun with the cream or ointment.

    A totally useless list.

  • In reply to maciric:

    L-O-V-E I-T !

  • In reply to maciric:

    OMG!! sounds like you are a very angry motorist like so many out there. We all know what it's like on the road. Nothing we can change, so just deal with it as best you can or call 911 for assistance.

  • In reply to maciric:

    The morons - and it seems to be about 90% of all drivers - who don't pull into the correct lane when turning onto a 4-lane (or wider) road. You are ALWAYS supposed to turn into the lane CLOSEST to you. That means if you are turning left onto the road, you turn into the leftmost lane; if you are turning right onto the road, you turn into the rightmost lane. If you need to be in a different lane for your next turn, turn into the CORRECT lane first, and then change lanes to get into the one you need to be in.

  • In reply to maciric:

    You forgot one more. The "turn signal optional" drivers.

  • In reply to lk60525:

    Excellent addition.

  • In reply to maciric:

    Michael,

    Who exactly obeys the speed limits? I have yet to see that on any regular basis no matter where I drive or where I live.

    My guess is you also believe that someone flashing their passing lights at you is "aggressive driving".

  • In reply to maciric:

    And, let's not forget the new kind of irritant: The driver from a side-street who pulls out onto the main road and blocks traffic waiting for the other side to clear. When did that become okay? I see it all the time on Ashland and on Western. People just block an entire side. Crazy.

  • In reply to maciric:

    Ah the "Conflicted Speeder" - yes, I do not wish to play that game of "you pass me I pass you" and I wouldn't have passed you if you were, you know, going the speed limit with the rest of traffic! But the worst is your cousin "don't dare pass me" who you pass, then speeds up, passes you, cuts in on you and slams their brakes.

  • In reply to maciric:

    I am so mad at your list. Blah blah blah!

  • In reply to markploch:

    No. You come to a complete stop behind the white line and then move forward with the green light and wait to make the left turn. If there is a car in front of you that has pulled out into the intersection with the green light and waiting to make the left turn - you can move into the intersection behind it. It is discourteous to sit behind the white line with the green light when you are going to make a left turn on green. I learned this from a cop MANY YEARS ago when I was holding up traffic behind me.

  • In reply to markploch:

    Seriously? You are clearly part of the problem.

  • In reply to ANewApproach:

    You see, I'm not CLEARLY part of the problem. I don't drive. I use public transportation and watch all the reckless stupid drivers.

    Do you realize that if you miss a left turn signal you're only 45 seconds to a minute behind. I don't think it's worth all the hassle.

  • In reply to markploch:

    Mark,

    The distribution of your ignorance makes you part of the problem which is people do not know what they are doing when they get behind the wheel.

    The rules are the rules. Normal people expect you to pull into the intersection when trying to make a left turn. Everywhere. All the time. It has always been that way. If someone does not do that, they are are endangering other people.

  • In reply to ANewApproach:

    I was asking if that was the rule. Still, I wouldn't pucker my sphincter because someone didn't pull up immediately. I doubt lives are being endangered, Mrs. Overkill.

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