11 Things Republicans Love the Most

11. Israel <br><br> Republicans LOVE them some Israel. They aren't sure why, since Republicans trust only fellow Christians. But they know that whoever writes their talking points likes Israel for some reason, so they fall in line.
Republicans get a bad rap in the mainstream media. They are branded as “The Party of No”, or the bigoted party, or the party of out of touch old white guys who look out for their best interests. But they are so much more than just a party of negative people. Here is a list... Read more »

Things Your Annoying Friends can do or Appreciate on a Deeper Level Than You

<strong>Sports</strong><br><br> Like most men, I enjoy talking about sports. But everyone has that one (or more) friend who speaks with a ridiculous amount of authority on the topic. Among their go-to moves:
- When you complain about your team's poor performance, they correct you about what their problem REALLY is. <br><br>
- When a problem is identified they assert they've been saying that for a while, and imply that they clearly see things the coach doesn't and they would make a better coach. <br><br>
-Argue vigorously in un-proveable hypotheticals, usually with a historical backdrop.  Would Sandy Koufax's fastball be effective in this era? Would Wilt Chamberlain be as dominant in today's NBA? Would the Steeler's Steel Curtain defense contain Joe Montana's offense in it's heyday? Only your friend can say for sure, and it's certainly worth debating because we may one day find out once and for all. <br><br> Ok, no it's not worth debating because it's impossible to ever ascertain the answer.
Some topics bring out the most annoying traits in people. For instance, if you were on an airplane and could select which topic NOT to discuss with the stranger sitting next to you and your choices were: Monkeys, sandwiches, politics, or movies; I bet most people would opt to omit politics from the discussion. While... Read more »

Joe Russo's Almost Dead is Very Much Alive: JRAD Does Chicago 9/19 & 9/20 at Concord Music Hall

Joe Russo's Almost Dead is Very Much Alive: JRAD Does Chicago 9/19 & 9/20 at Concord Music Hall
If you’ve ever been to the Abbey on a Wednesday night for Terrapin Flyer,  seen Caution rip across the South Side, were at Garcia‘s last show at Soldier Field in ’95, or have come up in the age of Dark Star Orchestra starting out at Martyr’s over 15 years ago, you can’t tell me this town ain’t got no heart.  The... Read more »

How to run Your own NFL True Crime Fantasy League

How to run Your own NFL True Crime Fantasy League
Everyone is in a conventional fantasy football league. This is a chance to start something similar, yet different. Here is how to run your own NFL true crime fantasy league where you score points by the legal improprieties of NFL players. Before I set it up I’d like to note that this league is an... Read more »

How I Made a Crummy Job Fun For a Moment

How I Made a Crummy Job Fun For a Moment
ChicagoNow is running a weekly special on crummy jobs. Here is my tale. In high school my old man told me I needed to get a summer job to learn the value of a dollar, so I got a job caddying at the local country club. It was a pretty fancy country club with a... Read more »

How to fail at music festivals (10 Things I Hate about You)

How to fail at music festivals (10 Things I Hate about You)
Cool recommended lists of expensive and generally poser outfits, internet.  Also, for teaching youngs how to act.  Thanks for the super advanced list of buzzwords to know when you’re standing at Kaskade pretending to know the words, realizing you don’t, and awkwardly just waiting for the drop with the basshead next to you… now you can say... Read more »

12 Media Personalities who Shout Instead of Talk

<strong>Ed Schultz</strong><br><br>A lot of people say that his show is unwatchable, but I disagree. However, I will concede that's un-listenable. You could mute his show in a nursing home auditorium and the residents in the back row would plug their ears.
Some television personalities are referred to as talking heads. These are more like shouting heads. You may not recognize all of their names or faces, but I know you’ve heard them. Either on your television set or radio, or on the television set or radio of someone within 800 yards of you.

6 Reasons Conservatives are Hypocrites to NOT Support Ferguson Protests

Conservatives Love The Constitution <br><br> Some conservative pundits assert that the Constitution was written by  their God, one tea party candidate painted a likeness of the Constitution on the side of her campaign bus, and several others state that the president is, "shredding the constitution", when they disagree with his policies. So it stands to reason they take enforcing the laws and freedoms in it very seriously.

<br><br> With that in mind, the First Amendment to the Constitution states: <br><br>
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.". <br><br>  What the Ferguson protestors are doing is exactly what democracy looks like in action as guaranteed by the First Amendment of the US Constitution. Inexplicably, a majority of conservatives oppose the protests in Ferguson.<br><br>For a conservative to oppose such activities would be like if someone claimed to be the biggest Shakespeare fan in the world, but then loudly opposed a local theater troupe staging a performance of Hamlet.
It’s unreasonable to expect others to agree with you about everything, all you can reasonably ask for is that the other person is consistent in their beliefs. Baseball is a great example of this. A manager doesn’t expect every ball or strike call by the umpire to go his way, he just wants the umpire... Read more »

The Single Bro's Guide to the American Cities

Chicago: Do you like the idea of being a Cubs fans?  You don't have to like the sport of baseball or the actual Cubs team. You just have to like telling people you are drunk, taking off your shirt, fist pounds, and Wrigleyville.
Bros of the USA, please put down your Bud Light, take off your aviators, and take a seat because this list is for you.  Whether you are moving to a new city or just going to visit, please use this as your guide to bro it out like a bro and impress some chicks in... Read more »

7 Things You Never Read in Obituaries but Should

<strong>"He was pretty much an A-hole to everyone"</strong><br><br> This would accurately describe like 20 people I know but I'll still never read it in an obituary.
I bet you interact with at least 10 annoying people everyday. They might be outright rude, or just inconsiderate. Maybe they’re painfully bad at their job and it grates on you. It’s possible a nearby service worker always gives you the same trite answer they think is so clever when you ask how they are... Read more »