Posts in category "Christmas"

The Twelve Days of Christmas with Swear Words

Warning: This post contains adult language. Actually, after this introduction this post is basically just a string of profanity. If that’s not your thing you should probably skip reading this. If, however, you love swear words I’ve got a special Twelve Days of Christmas song for you. I did warn you that there would be... Read more »

What does Santa Claus do for your family?

What does Santa Claus do for your family?
Santa Claus is an all-seeing, immortal, polyglot, shape-shifter. By some accounts Santa is also a slave owner, although others claim that the elves receive fair compensation for their labor. Sometimes Santa seems truly omniscient, while at other times he needs to employ onsite surveillance via the Elf on the Shelf. (Or does the Elf on... Read more »

4 "facts" about Christmas that are wrong

4 "facts" about Christmas that are wrong
You may know the words to all the classic Christmas songs. You may even know where you stashed the Christmas tree stand last year. But do you fall for common falsehoods about Christmas? Here are four “facts” about Christmas that a lot of people get wrong. Poinsettias are poisonous and should be kept away from... Read more »
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10 reasons why museum memberships are the best gifts for families

10 reasons why museum memberships are the best gifts for families
Are you a grandparent or someone else looking to buy gifts for a family with small children? Do you have small children and want to get a gift that won’t add to your clutter? Local museum memberships (or zoo memberships or aquarium memberships) are awesome. Even for little kids museums (and not just “children’s museums”)... Read more »

Elf on the Shelf revealed to be part of secret NSA spying program

Elf on the Shelf revealed to be part of secret NSA spying program
Top secret documents leaked by former contractor Edward Let-It-Snowden reveal a previously unknown NSA program code-named SANTA (Securing America’s Noel Toy Allotment). A key component of the SANTA program is the use of hidden recording and transmitting devices in Elf on the Shelf dolls. The Elf on the Shelf dolls allow the NSA to secretly monitor... Read more »

List 24: What I really wanted for Christmas

List 24: What I really wanted for Christmas
I got some nice things for Christmas, but Christmas for me is more about seeing my kids excited than what I might get. It’s not that I don’t like things. I really like things, but I have plenty of things already. There are some things I really want, but they would be difficult to impossible... Read more »
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List 23: Memories from 20 Christmas parties

List 23: Memories from 20 Christmas parties
On Saturday, I threw my 20th consecutive Christmas party. (As I’ve stated before, I am an introvert who loves to host parties.) Below are 40 facts and memories from 20 instances of what has often been called the “Kimmy Z Christmas Party.” My mother started throwing Christmas parties with lots of food in 1970. She... Read more »

Pictures with Santa: My failure as a mother

My parent's didn't have a problem thrusting me into the arms of a strange man in a red suit for the sake of a photo. They even dressed me in my finest 1974 yellow polyester for the occasion.
Pictures with Santa are a Christmas tradition that I haven’t yet mastered. I say I’m going to do them, but they end up neglected like my other examples of holiday underachievement. Photos of kids on Santa’s lap are rarely good. The kids look awkward at best if they aren’t outright screaming and crying. I don’t care.... Read more »

List 21: Christmas to do list shame spirals

List 21: Christmas to do list shame spirals
I love Christmas. I do a lot of Christmassy things in December but rarely as many as I initially intend. Perhaps I could keep up with the expectations of a Martha Stewart-esque holiday if I had her staff and budget, but I don’t. Over time my ambitious holiday to do lists must evolve to reflect... Read more »
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Product Idea: Nativity Scene Menorah

Buzzfeed did a feature on 27 Awesome and Unexpected Menorahs, including this one from Etsy seller Again Goods: When I looked at that what I saw were modern, stylized people. Robed people. Clustered together. What I saw was a modern, stylized version of this: (That’s from Etsy seller FilzArts.) This made me think of an... Read more »