A blatantly honest timesheet

A blatantly honest timesheet

Dear boss,

I have some questions regading your message about the importance of accurate timesheets. I am trying to be more mindful in the reporting of my hours; unfortunately, I cannot find appropriate billing codes for many of my activities.

Below is a breakdown of how I spent my 40 hours this week. Please advise as to how I should enter these into my itemized timesheet. Thanks.

  • Going to Starbucks to get coffee twice a day - 2.5 hours
  • Checking and responding to work email - 5 hours
  • Checking and responding to personal email - 1 hour
  • Shopping online - 1 hour
  • Paying bills online - 30 minutes
  • Checking Facebook - 1 hour
  • Checking Twitter - 1 hour
  • Reading other Internet stuff - 4 hours
  • Returning late from lunch - 1 hour
  • Refilling my water bottle - 1 hour
  • Going to the bathroom - 2.5 hours (Small bladder. Sorry.)
  • Talking to co-workers about non-work-related topics - 1 hour
  • Talking to co-workers about work-related topics - 30 minutes
  • Eating donuts in the break room - 30 minutes
  • Attending status meetings to report minimal changes in status since the previous status meeting - 15 hours
  • Filling out my timesheet - 30 minutes
  • Actually doing my job - 2 hours

*    *     *     *     *

Dear current and potential employers,

This is Fiction Friday. That thing you just read is totally made up. I swear. In fact, during a 40 hour work week I actually bend time and space to fit 60 hours of work in a 40 hour space.

Sincerely,

Kim Z. Dale, unwaivering professional

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Filed under: Fiction Friday

Tags: Career, Fiction

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