Friendships evolve in your thirties

My friendships at 35-years-of-age sharply contrast relationships in my younger years. They're lower maintenance and more restorative. We no longer cringe when anyone calls us "Mam."

Last Friday was one of my best friend's 36th birthday. We had our annual birthday celebration. I used to wear my best party clothes in our twenties. We'd usually start somewhere for tapas and bar hop after that. We often climbed up on the bar when we heard a favorite song to "drop it like it's hot". We'd usually meet for brunch the next day and laugh about the escapades until we cried.

Now, our go-to special occasion splurge is a real restaurant for lunch with white table clothes between our offices.  We talk about potty training, vacation time and extended families. I still dress to impress, but it's my best business casual attire....

Some of our friends may bring their little ones from home to join us at a more chaotic sandwich shop.

Today in our wiser thirties, we laugh that we "friend-ed" hard. When I went to Spain in our twenty-something single days, they suggested I get an international phone plan to keep in touch. A conservative family friend literally thought two of us were romantic partners since I affectionately referred to my "girlfriend" so much.

Our friendships have evolved as we've grown. We now decline each other's invitations after work or on the weekend. We've learned to prioritize and conserve our energy when possible to be our best selves.

2006

2006

Fortunately, right now, our only drama is work fires to put out. We enjoy the moment together before we rush back to work for conference calls and meetings. We miss and remember our dear friends who are home with little ones or now across the country...

Even though we all don't talk or see each other as much anymore, we still feel connected... We've supported each other through hard times and cheered each other on through good times. We continue to do that as life circumstances evolve. We keep it real with no competition or jealousy. We pick-up right where we left off. My friend brain trust help me problem solve.

I still talk to my Mom and sister several times a day.

How do your friendships evolve? I highly recommend Her Stories Project: Women Explore the Joy, Pain and Power of Female Friendship.

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Filed under: wellness

Tags: friendships

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