Posts in category "Thoughts and Theories Thursday"

IL Governor's Race: Quick-Give Gov Mumbles Some Discounted Cheese With His Rauner Whine

IL Governor's Race: Quick-Give Gov Mumbles Some Discounted Cheese With His Rauner Whine
Have you caught the latest from the Quinn Camp? Yes.  I’m talking about Governor Mumbles mowing the lawn with the hand push mower.  Nice touch for all the tree-huggers pulling the Quinn Lever in November, eh? What a guy, huh? Between listening to the “Human Ambien” bullshit the public into believing he has been “busy”... Read more »

Oprah Armstrong Interview: Upstaged by George Glass' Grandaughter

Oprah Armstrong Interview: Upstaged by George Glass' Grandaughter
Hold on to your goddamn hat cause this shit is starting to get really, really, really real. Can you for one minute wrap your head around the steam coming out of the Harpo Executive offices this morning?  Can you even fathom the pounds of sweet potato fries consumed by one “comfort eater” last night? Let’s... Read more »

Twenty Words/Phrases That Should Never Be Uttered Again, For Realz

Twenty Words/Phrases That Should Never Be Uttered Again, For Realz
There are some phrases that cannot be uttered enough. “Crank up the crazy and rip off the knob”, “crazier than a shithouse rat”,  “yadda, yadda, yadda”, “are you frickin’ kidding me” and my personal favorite, the summation of my life thus far, “I shit you not”. And nothing can sum up someone’s personality in a nutshell... Read more »
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Christmas RSVPs: A Menagerie of Merry Morons Who Need Not Reply

Leftover Louie ~ ah, Leftover Louie is such a stroke.  Last Christmas Louie and his family signed up to bring a dozen cupcakes, one pumpkin pie, a 9x13 pan of green bean casserole, and a stick of butter.  As soon as the last person cleared the dessert buffet line, Louie and his brought-from-home box of ziplocks sprung into action.  You watched in horror as Louie bagged up every last crumb of whatever his family contributed to the meal (including the eighth-a-stick of leftover butter) and ran like lightning to secure them in the trunk of his car for safe keeping.  So, it came as no surprise this past Thanksgiving when you were asked to contribute five pounds of mashed potatoes to the family feast over at Louie's place.  As you were getting ready to leave, Louie handed you a bag heavy enough to make you think you had the makings for a pretty sweet turkey sandwich with all the trimmings to take back to your crib.  And, sure enough...later that evening...after your turkey-induced slumber...as your mouth watered thinking about the turkey goodness, you made your way to the fridge and opened the bag.  And then as you took the all too familiar looking container out, you slammed it on the counter as you shouted, "THAT MOTH-ER FUCK-ER".  THAT motherfucker indeed.  Leftover Louie sent you home with the remaining four pounds of your mashed potato offering.  It could be worse.  You could be your sister opening a half gallon of gravy and a ziploc bag containing exactly two-and-a-half croissants right about now.
The holidays are here along with all the weirdos that seem to participate.  Just when you think the freak flags that fly at your annual family gathering are exclusive to your gene pool…think again.  The names and faces may be different, but don’t fool yourself.  Their stories and the freakiness that follows are all the same.  ... Read more »

CPS Strike: I'm Just Going To Go Ahead And Say What You Are Probably Thinking

Karen is the president of the Chicago Teacher Union.  Once the contract is ratified and the teachers get the raise they want they should do two things.  One...find a new rep.  And two...chip in an buy Ms. Lewis a brassiere as a parting gift.  Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and sadly, books are still judged by their covers.  If this is the face of the CTU...it needs an overhaul along with an attitude adjustment.
What we are witnessing here is a pissing match, you know? Oh, sure it is a circus…no doubt in my mind. But there is a side show going on at the big top. And it is a pissing match. Karen Lewis meet Rahm Emanuel. Rahm, let me introduce you to Karen. FYI…take a good look... Read more »

Drew Peterson Trial Provides A Conversation Every Couple Should Have

Drew Peterson Trial Provides A Conversation Every Couple Should Have
Every couple needs to have this conversation. Seriously. Long before your face is plastered all over a breaking news story regarding your disappearance.  And way, way before Rob Lowe signs on to play your husband/alleged killer in a sappy made-for-tv-movie for Lifetime. Make sure you utter these words before there is a murder trial that your once-beloved... Read more »
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Blagojevich Goes To Prison: Random Thoughts And Observations

Blagojevich Goes To Prison: Random Thoughts And Observations
  My thoughts and observations regarding the last twenty-four hours as I watch Blago do what he does best…lead a three-ring circus from Illinois to Denver.  Apparently he read my letter yesterday. This SOB is going out “O.J. Style”. Fanfrickintastic.  Those of you who had money riding on last meal  coming from the kitchen of... Read more »

Who Would Have Thunk It? It's Thoughts and Theories Thursday

Random thoughts and theories after reading today’s internet trenders…seriously if it weren’t for Hollywood and assorted news blurbs out of political camps I wouldn’t feel nearly as good as I do about myself. So I thank them for that.  From the bottom of my cold, sarcastic heart.   Herman Cain Herman Cain dabbled in sexual... Read more »