If you have a glass in your hand, the television tuned to the Red Carpet and are in need of a little more entertainment; you have come to the right place.
Here it is.
The Official 2013 Golden Globes Drinking Game
You know the basic rules, pour yourself something fabulous and take a sip following the occurrence of any of the following during the Red Carpet and Big Event that follows:
Every time, yes, EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. Gulianna mentions how much she misses The Duke
Take a bonus guzzle if she says being a mother is the hardest job in the world with a straight face (Nope, I will not shut up. She has hair and make-up people, a stylist, nannies, and stayed at a pricy Chi-town hotel during her maternity leave--nothing tough about that)
Toss one back each time G says a trendy, hip word. Oh, the list might include (but in no way is limited to) amazeballs, the hubs, my hubs, love you hubs, gorge, a killer look (oh, you get the idea)
Take a sip every time Osborne mentions that Adele is her "best friend"
Chug-a-lug-lug whenever a starlet towers over Seacrest on the carpet (warning...such behavior could cause your words to slur)
A shot for you if Cooper shows up with his mother on his arm
Go ahead and finish the bottle if he takes back Zellweger for the night (I miss that squinty beyotch)
Take a drink each time someone in LA complains about the cold weather and another if it affected their fashion choice for the evening
Knock one back when the little twerp mentions the "incident" from last year's Red Carpet. And the dictator
Take a drink when Hathaway mentions how awesome she is, her husband is, or their love for each other seems to be
Crack one open in the event anyone mentions Hathaway going commando
Feel free to inebriate yourself if Wiig takes to the stage and proceeds to take over any sketch
Glug...glug...glug when a star is asked their stance on gun control
Go ahead, take a slurp on the straw if Streep shows up and either a)appears bored b) looks like she just rolled out of bed or c) appears to not care
Drinky-drinky when the Oscar snub of Affleck, Bigelow, or Tarantino is mentioned
Take another if one of them are responsible for said mentioning
A shooter for you each time a winner suggests "it is an honor just being nominated" (bullshit!)
Double down every time Fey or Poehler mention Lohan, the half man, Sheen, Kardashian or any other Hollywood liability
Double down, way, way down when they take a swipe at the Liz and Dick fiasco
Feel free to indulge at the mention of Gervais (YES, I am excited for what Fey and Poehler will bring to the table...but Gervais? His complete disdain for Hollywood is stuff me dreams are made of)
Not sure if Paltrow will grace us with her presence, but in the event she does and says something condescending (do you have doubts?), go ahead and pour yourself a cold one
Take a swig each time the NBC camera pans in on one of the stars from a sitcom with dwindling ratings
In the event SMASH wins...please know I'm at home crying no, SCREAMING foul and heading to the nearest liquor store.