Last night the cast of D-List characters returned to the ballroom for another go-around.
Did you miss the excitement?
No worries...the best and worst follows...along with my predicted bottom three...and who should be put out of her misery.
Ahem, Spoiler Alert...her last name rhymes with avertralova.
FUN FACT OF THE NIGHT:
In addition to the two ex-husbands who painfully endured moments of their life they will never get back, Gilbert dated Billy Idol in the eighties.
Even more awkward than that revelation? She and bad-boy dancer danced to Idol's "Dancing With Myself".
P.S. Child-star Icon (hey, that is how they are billing her) loooooves her partner. She does. She really does.
TMI TWEET OF THE NIGHT:
Seems all the live shows are streaming tweets bearing their hashtag.
#DWTS is no different.
Some intern in the social media department let this baby flash at one point across the screen..."breastfeeding and watching #DWTS..."
The winning submission comes from the brilliant mind of @blk_BUTTAFLIE (Kaydeedawsey).
Yeah, I'm thinking I might follow her too! Imagine the insight she might bring to the table during an Oscars' Red Carpet.
Just for fun next week, I'm considering the following......"have #DWTS on a dvr pause while I take a dump" merely to see if it makes it past the discerning eye of the good people in the DWTS social media division.
QUESTION OF THE NIGHT:
How the hell does Tristan survive his Sophomore Season with The Pip after his Freshman Season with The Helmet?
ANSWER: Macmanus appears to be baked off his ass...
BEST SET OF HONKERS THANKS TO A CONTRACT EXTENSION:
Brooke Burke...wardrobe malfunction possibilities were endless last night.
I admire her nerve...and the fact she also spent the off-season polishing up her interview skills did not go unnoticed, either. Only a handful of "how-does-that-feels" last night. Good Girl!
QUESTIONABLE FASHION CHOICE OF THE EVENING:
What can I possibly say that has not already been said...or thought?
NAME DROPPER OF THE NIGHT:
Gladys Knight...I don't care who she used to headline with way back when, really. Take a gander around the Loser's Lounge, sweetheart...and check out who you're headlining with now.
NEWSFLASH...you're all D-Listers now.
BEST NEW NICKNAME OF THE NIGHT:
Welch Welsh Wiggler (thank you Mark Ballas)
BEST JAZZ HANDS OF ... FRICKIN' EVER:
Sherri Shepherd's partner, aka Maks' brother...
FIRST INJURY OF THE SEASON:
Boy, that didn't take long did it...ratings must really be in the crapper.
Yep, it was Menounos. It's all good, though as it only hurts when she is hugged...too bad pain isn't excruciating while she laughs like a hyena.
UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE NIGHT:
"My equipment is way too heavy for this..." ~Sherri Shepherd
If Ike Turner is buried in the LA area, he was no doubt rolling round in his grave last night when the Tina-wanna-be missed an entire run and went batshit crazy about the dance floor.
Sherri also gave us last night's best TWOFER:
Singing AND Dancing...oh, boy it is going to be a long season.
Hip Hop Harry and Hightower...and the stuffed dog she was strangely petting before she whipped it aside. Hope PETA wasn't watching...they'll Flour Bomb a bitch.
QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:
"He wants me to shake my naughty bits" ~ Welch Wiggler
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE NIGHT:
Urkel. He was not a cool customer last night. At.all. Me thinks the producers told him to tone it down for a few weeks until the others catch up with him.
The screams from the ballroom last week assured the producers who in turn must have assured the judges that this is they guy we want to keep around.
Martina ManHands ... Fedora Frank DeGraw ... and a toss up between Gilbert and Wagner (who can tell the difference anyway?)
WHO HEADS HOME?
The Giant Mermaid...and her sensible footwear will be sent packing.
Hey, she hasn't really been all that excited to be here AT.ALL.
Count on her best moves to happen as she hauls ass toward the door.