Did the latest news (broken by Ryan Seacrest, no less) completely rock your world?
Do you, much like me, have many burning questions?
Like what does the split mean for future Keeping Up With The Kardashian episodes?
OMG...will Kim and Kourtney still take on New York?
How weird is it that the new season (featuring Kim and the new hubby/current in-law douche bag) that teases of them setting up house with the oddest looking Kardashian (especially when she sports the bun to compliment the widows' peak), her toddler and boyfriend/former family douche bag/and thanks to divorce soon-to-be current douche bag again~thank god the stars have aligned now that Kris is out of the picture) is scheduled to premiere a mere three weeks from this Sunday?
Less than a month after the announcement that shook the world.
What will the bad press of a short marriage do to Mama Kris' book tour that suprisingly began the day after divorce was announced (which ironically occured right in time for November television sweeps)?
Seriously how amazing is that?
Even kooler, a weepy Kris K. kompletely kommandeered the talk show cirkuit this morning ~ The View ~ The Today Show ~ Kathie Lee and Hoda ~ going to her "emotional place" (sadly, thanks to recent "pre-fairytale wedding" surgery, she could barely muster a frown ~ and through the krocodile tears that she tried to channel, she almost konvinced me of her sadness) yet offering nothing in terms of Kim/Kris 411.
I did learn one thing~well, maybe two.
One~me thinks the "I'm-channeling-Liza-Minnelli-outfit" she was sporting was directly off a Sears rack.
And two ~ I'm not even sure if those threads were free would I be willing to haul my ass to Sears to claim them.
And yes...there is a three...I am now convinced these people are shameless asshats to which no length is long enough for them to go to remain in the spotlight.
From the time Kim was introduced to the world thanks to former BFF Paris Hilton ~ to the scandulous sex tape with Brandi's brother ~ to Keeping Up With the Kardashians ~ to the Dash clothing line ~ to Khloe and LamLam's hawking of their infamous "scent" (can you only begin to imagine??) ~ to the phony marriage.
The entire train wreck has been scripted.
Sadly, a seventy-two day marriage after the fairy tale wedding of the century (remember, the one that promised to rival Will and Kate) failing might do some serious damage to the Kardashian E! Kred.
Even sadder, the Kardashian Klan never konsidered Dopey McDopeson kurrently licking his "blindsided" wounds up in Minnesota.
Shocked by the divorce filing my ass.
Now, he did not keep up his end of the bargain, did he?
Damn NBA lockout.
That was not considered in the original planning meeting now, was it?
If the season were underway, Mr. Kardashian would be traveling the country with his team and hanging out with assorted escorts in hotel lounges like a typical NBAer instead of trying to insinuate himself into a sham of a marriage.
Maybe the bohunk can spend the delayed season opening learning to string a sentence together ~ I'd give my first born to read a behind-the-scenes-tell-all.
Do you suppose he is smart enough to realize the bombshell he sits upon?
Raise your hand if you have had it with these klowns.
Raise the other one if you wish they would just go away.