Royally Screwed...I Still Have Burning Questions!

Did you watch any of the Royal Wedding coverage?  I'll let you know right now I was up all night watching Charles and Diana's festivities thirty years ago.  The following summer I was up before the sun to witness the happy parents leave the hospital with the heir.

Wild royal horses could not have kept me away from today's festivities.  Up at 3:45, I spent the day completely mesmerized.  Many complained the Royal Family went overboard in an expensive unnecessary tradition during such tough economic times.

I say money.well.spent.  The entire day was a win/win or do you say winning/winning? 

I would imagine the taxes alone on half of the crappy souvenirs could settle any nation's debt.  Win.

Over one million spectators in the streets outside Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace.  They have to eat sometime, right?  They are bound to be thirsty, huh?  Win.

London Boutiques/Hat Shoppes/Fancy Shoe Stores. Win.Win.Win.

The Goodwill Store where Chelsea (Harry's on-again-off-again gal pal, picked up her outfit for the Abbey).  Win.

Those who had money riding on Ferguson not being on the guest list in the Office Pool?  All Winners. 

The return of apparent Monarch popularity thanks to the promise of a "real deal" love story and a beautiful wedding?  Priceless.

What regular "Joe" from  America would not appreciate a Royal Wedding?  You may find the royals too hoity-toity.  Sometimes I do to.  But do you want to know what I did not miss today?

The clowns that would have come along with the price of admission had the ceremony been in America.  You know, the Snookies, the Situations...the big-assed Kardasssssssssian Sisters and their "plus one" Momzilla.  Go ahead and add anyone from 'celebrity-ville" trying to hawk a movie, album, or concert tour to the guest list and you have the makings for an American Red Carpet Freak Show.

The Royals are excused.  They did not ask for their "celebrity"; they were born into it.  Hollywood and the rest of the "put-me-in-front-of-the-camera-weirdos" here in America are clearly a different breed.  Hollywood Royalty pales in comparison to the Real Deal in London.

The display in London today was anything but the circus it would have become on our shores (think Trump Wedding, The Cruise/Holmes Affair, JLo/Anthony, Pitt and Aniston) seriously, do I really need to go on?

Today's event was pure class with all the traditional pomp and circumstance surrrounding the celebration.  Sure it cost a bundle, but I think what the world watching it at home got in return was well worth it.

I enjoyed a day free of worry.  For one day I did not have to listen to the talking heads tell me about Middle Eastern unrest.  I did not have to pay any attention to the babble coming out of Trump's mouth.  Sadly, I was not concerned with the rising cost of gasoline today; and was not at all interested in the pissing match going on in Congress.  Nope, not today.

Today I enjoyed the promise of tomorrow thanks to two kids.  Sure Kate and Will's wedding was beautiful.  But even more gorgeous than the true love they obviously share was the realization that messes can be fixed.  Eventually.

Last time cameras broadcast from the Abbey, life was not so swell for the Family Windsor.

Thirteen years later it seems that things turned out pretty well despite the tragedy that rocked the royal family.  All those years ago, I remember staying up all night again; listening for information regarding Diana's car crash.  And a week after that, another all-nighter watching the Princess' funeral.

At the time I wondered how those precious boys of hers would survive without their mother.  Clearly, Charles and the Queen were not capable of carrying out Diana's wishes for her children.  Today I witnessed with the rest of the world those two boys turned out alright.  I think their mother would be proud.

Proud of the men they became in spite of the circumstance.  But, I bet she would be even more proud of the Father the man she once married became.

The only scene more beautiful than the gaze between The Prince and his new bride was the knowing glances stolen between the two brothers and the pride beaming from their father. 

Almost as heartwarming was the complete ease the Queen, Duke, Prince, and his new wife/wicked-step-monster shared.  The Queen and Duke clearly are proud Grandparents.  Charles, a softer-more understanding father and loving husband, and the new wife...well, she seems to fit right in, doesn't she?

For one day all was right in the world.  I thoroughly enjoyed the day's distraction.  God Bless the Happy Couple, may they share a lifetime of happiness together.

Now, enough with the sappy stuff...I sat in front of the television at every available opportunity today.  And while the ceremony, the new Duchess and the Princes warmed my heart, some of the invited guests left me scratching my head.

Can we start with the picture I could not seem to find on the internet but will forever remain burned in my sick memory?

Did you get a load of the older gal in pink arriving with the family Middleton.  At first glance I thought she might be a Grandma, but having been wrong before would definitely not rule out the chance it might be one of her "crazy aunts".

This particular gal was obviously overserved at the pre-ceremony breakfast.  Perhaps too many mimosas, but my money is on a celebratory vodka gimlet based on her pigeon-toed stance as she attempted to haul herself up the stairs of the Abbey, completely snookered.

Nope, no picture, but I trust I have painted one for you with way less than one thousand words.

As for the rest of my they are:





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