Dodgeball Deemed Dangerous ~ Society Is Officially Screwed

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Grab your balls boys and head inside.  There is breaking news coming out of the New York State Health Department.  It is only a matter of time before Pat "I jump aboard any bandwagon as long as it brings attention" Quinn pulls our sorry state into the debate.  Dodgeball is dangerous

New York bureaucrats are essentially raising their freak flag by tightening the clamps on area recreation departments.  If an organized program provides two or more activities on a predetermined "risk list" they feel it should be deemed a sports camp.

What is risky you might ask?  Well, dodgeball, of course.  Does that not go without saying?  Kids these days bruise like peaches.  Why risk their tender skin with a ball catapulting in their direction?  And, really, isn't every kid on the playground skilled in dodgeball just itching for his "inner bully" to rear its ugly head?

Apparently parents of kids susceptible to school yard/rec department injuries should add Red Rover (imagine the wrist injury possibility while mulling over the danger of hurt feelings if "not called to come over"), Wiffle Ball (plastic hollow ball+plastic bat = imminent danger) , Steal the Bacon (oh, yeah, risky indeed).  The word "steal" in the title?  Bite your tongue! 

Just uttering the name begs the wrong element that concerned parents today are shielding their precious, innocent children from~yep risk is involved just in spitting out the title, and of course, we cannot forget Capture the Flag. 

Capture the Flag would probably not be nearly as dangerous had it originally been called "If It is Okay with You, May I Please Take Your Flag", but the damage was done all those years ago when the novel moniker was penned.

If you are still making your list at home, please add Freeze Tag.  Oh yeah, Freeze Tag is dangerous.  Not to mention very scary~think of what the young mind could possibly imagine his playmate acting out during his frightening "monster" pose thanks to the freezing element of the game; and of course the hitting factor involved in reiterating that the kid holding the frozen pose is now "it".

Being a kid in 2011 is tough, and certain grownups are merely stirring the pot.  The powers that be in New York feel if two or more of these "risky" activities take place during the same event said event must be declared a Sports Camp.

I declare a Sports Camp!!  Now, what do the little campers get?  A water bottle?  A cool camp t-shirt?

Perhaps, although I cannot be sure.  I can tell you what you are guaranteed; a hefty increase in sign-up fees.  Apparently new rules and subjected regulations are definitely included at the hefty sports camp entry fee of $200.  I am not sure if the two hundred bucks covers a spiffy sports water bottle to hydrate the tuckered out camper or a t-shirt to add to his collection of the heap already piled in his closet, but I can tell you what the extra fees will cover.

Medical personnel is deemed necessary on the premises should one of these "dangerous" sports go awry.  Yes, the bureaucrats in New York feel it necessary for Parks and Recreation Departments to put a medical staff on the field when the innocent take part in the dangers of stealing the bacon.

Our society is officially screwed.  Seriously.  We (adults) are completely screwing up our children.  And can you imagine what screwed up children who morph into even more idiotic adults are going to do to the next generation?

When I was a kid things were much different; and that was in the seventies.  Our gym classes were planned around each and every risky game named in this article.  And once dismissed from school, we were not carted around in the family wagon from activity to activity munching on post-sport snacks to tide us over until we arrived at the closest drive-thru.

We hoofed it home from the bus stop and later we headed over to the park and played a pick-up game of Freeze Tag or Red Rover.  And, when the street lights came on we hauled our sorry ass home for dinner.  Completely famished from all of the "unsupervised by a parent/coach" activity we ate whatever was served to us, got right to our homework and then headed to bed (all that activity tuckers a kid out).

You know what else?  There was not nearly the amount of "tub-a-lubs" walking around wheezing because they were out of breath.  Kids in the seventies were in shape.  They played hard and ate three squares a day.  A snack?  Snacks were for pansies.  Wait for dinner.

So many today wonder why our country is facing an obesity epidemic.  It does not take a government paid committee to figure this out.  Kids are eating more and have goofy rules in place to keep them from being very active. 

A solution is pretty easy; eat less, exercise more.  Seems simple.

Instead we have bureaucrats like the numbskulls in New York making up ridiculous rules and classifying simple children's games as "too risky to play".

I can tell you what is risky and it won't cost you one tax cent.  Inactive children.  Let the children play.  No one ever achieved anything worthwhile without a bit of risk. 

The clowns in New York are risking more than avoidance of injury~they are risking children's waistlines, imagination, and their childhood.  Let's hope Pat Quinn doesn't read the news.

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  • Though I hate it when the govt sticks their nose in our business, but I am glad there's talk of banning dodgeball. I HATED that game as a child! There was nothing as terrorizing as being one of the last kids left on the floor, facing the opposing team as they bombard you with balls. I was much better at freeze tag :)

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