Choking Master: Flub-em-up-Phil

By JenLenks, April 8, 2011 at 8:52 am

The 2011 Masters is in full swing; the greens well-manicured ~ the trees and flowers in full bloom. Phil Mickelson returned as the defending green jacket champion. Tiger Woods, for better or worse, has, well, he has returned.

Poor Tiger~caught him during the Masters' press conference on Wednesday. He just looks, for lack of a better word, sad. The sparkle is long gone from his eyes while a few extra pounds have been added to his once fit frame. And, let's not forget the millions of clams transfered out of his bank account into the ex-missus'. He seems like a lost soul.

Sure it has been a long time since his short stack was last buttered at Perkins, sadly Mindy picked up her orange jumpsuit and checked in behind bars months ago. What is a former great to do?

I have been watching golf matches ever since I can remember. In my family Sundays were a day of worship. It was the final round of play. The Masters' tournaments always stick out in my mind as along with a big check, the winner got a pretty snazzy shade-of-green jacket. Who needs another trophy? A jacket, now there is a one-of-a-kind prize.

More than sixteen and a half months have passed since the "Florida Driveway Incident" ~ let's all bow our heads and offer a moment of silence for the loss of the 5-iron ~ that poor club didn't ask for, nor deserve its ending.

I had hoped Tiger would return to form by now, but even more disappointing is Mickelson hasn't risen to the occasion. Seems Phil has always had at least two obstacles standing between him and his rise to the top of the leader board: Tiger Woods and himself.

With golf's winless ladies man out of the way, seems whatever head games Phil plays with himself as he is thisclose to winning have got to be his downfall.

I am no golf pro--only played a couple of times, actually. But I watch and more importantly pay attention as I enjoy so I feel I am entitled to my opinion.

Seems every time "Fantastic Phil" has a decent lead, a real chance at winning a tournament, his evil twin, "F*ck-Em-Up Phil" tees off. Does not matter what course he is playing on or how much the final prize...Fantastic Phil will be plugging along with a birdie, birdie, par, birdie, eagle, birdie, par, par...and then "Eff-em-up" takes over with a bogey, bogey, double bogey, bogey.

Nobody cheers louder for Phil than me. No one more disappointed when his evil twin takes over during any given tournament. My fingers are crossed that he adds another jacket to his collection this Sunday ~ my toes are crossed in anticipation of being treated to another eighteenth hole leap following the victory.

In the meantime, here are five of his most heartbreaking flubs...I pray history does not repeat itself..."flub-wise". Good Luck Fantastic Phil!