Aguilera's Atrocious Attempt at the Anthem: Let the Excuses Begin

Did you happen to tune into the opening moments of Super Bowl XLV Sunday?  Perhaps you had some money riding on the coin toss, wind direction, or whether Aguilera would sing the National Anthem live or lip synch it like most of the professionals do. 

If you had your money riding on "live" you knew a minute into it that your investment had paid off.  You're also more than likely kicking yourself now; should have plopped down a bundle on Xtina "effing" it up royally.   Here is a peek at the mistake heard round the world:

 

 

 

 I found the flub refreshing.  Hey-it takes a lot of nerve to attempt singing the "Abc's" in front of 100,000+ fans in that Cowboy Stadium, never mind the National Anthem (really, who among us hasn't "hummed" their way through some of the tricky stanzas).  And, then consider the millions watching from home all across the world not to mention the 400 non-seated fans (they may not have had a golden ticket, but they do have ears).  Not many "stars" attempt the Anthem "live" and so I was all set to give Xtina a pass.  And then the "Monday morning quarterbacks" came up with a list of excuses a mile long...

 

The gal with the bleach blonde locks claims nerves.  Anonymous friends pointed out a downward spiral of drinking.  Boozing makes sense to me.  If ever a gal looked like she needed a drink, Xtina would be the one.

In the course of six months, her ride on "easy street" has hit a string of potholes.  Following a sudden divorce, she tried out for "the other team" and apparently didn't make the cut, then came news of dating, a boyfriend, serious enough with the fella to take it to the next level of "living together" (who cares if her husband was still under the same roof--it's how they roll in Hollywood--who am I to judge).   

As she hit the red carpet for the premiere of "Burlesque", we mere mortals saw with our own eyes that the divorce had taken a toll on the gal in the form of many, many pounds.  Most tubby starlets would head straight to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers for the chance at a possible side job as a spokesperson while shedding the "I-eat-my-feelings" pounds. 

Not Aguilera ~ she headed to a Golden Globes Pre-party and straight into a catfight with that obnoxious Julienne Hough.  Was it the booze talking, or did Christina have a legitimate beef with the pint sized pal of Seacrest??  I secretly hope she was sober when she knocked the little miss on her backside.  Is it wrong that in this same dream I see Cher as her "wingman"?

Fergie took to the airwaves to defend her fellow "artist"...me thinks she was all too happy to have the gift of Aguilera to talk about...kept the "mushy Pea" performance on the back burner and out of the headlines.

I'm convinced it was karma.  Karma coming back to bite the former mousketeer in the big old ass. 

Wasn't too long ago Christina wasn't too kind to her "mousemate" Brittany.  I remember the condescending looks and snarky attitude when Inside Edition, Extra, and the like asked her for a sound bite regarding the fall of her former friend.

Seems on Super Bowl Sunday, the other stiletto hit the ground.  It appears Bittany and Christina's simple beginings have come full-circle.  They are more alike today than they ever were.

Like Brittany, Aguilera has suffered from bad press due to a marital break-up, and subsequently packed on the pounds while "close friends" point to some type of addiction causing the once rising star to spiral out of control.

Seems Lady Xtina is a shaved head and a car beating thanks to an umbrella away from walking in her ex-pal's footsteps.

Many singers sound professional thanks to the magic that happens in the studio.  Ask Taylor Swift.  She learned the hard way via the performance at last year's Grammys that "live" isn't always best.

Did I stop listening to Swift when I realized she's really not that good a singer "live"?  Hell no...I'm much to interested in hearing her "out" Gyllenhaal on her next album.  I don't care how bad it sounds, with material like that I'd happily listen to the worst singer American Idol could find to sing those lyrics.

Taylor Swift rolls with the punches...she dusts herself off and moves on.  Aguilera should take a page from her book.  Instead of flying back to LA Sunday after the infamous flub, skipping the game and after-parties, she should have admitted her mistake and laughed it off.

Singing before all those people in a stadium so large "live" is rare for the professional singer.  I imagine Ms. Aguilera was having a tough time performing in an outfit that covered up so much skin.  She had to be out of her element from the get-go with her "business casual" look.  Couple that with trying to belt out some difficult lyrics while concentrating on balancing in the six-inch stilettos...it was a disaster waiting to happen. 

I give her props for making it out to the stage on the stilts...personally I'd have gone with a Steelers' Jersey, jeggings and sensible shoes.  But I'm not a rock star.  While I give her credit for attempting the anthem live, I cringe at the excuses for the lackluster performance.  Fluff up the rehab pillows, looks like we might have a joiner.   

Leave a comment