Blagojevich Trial Day One: Let the Freakshow Begin...

 

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I woke this morning with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning.  June 3, 2010 is the day I've been anticipating forever--okay, not forever--but I've been waiting since the breaking news broke on the morning of December 9, 2008... and a couple hours later when the coiffed one made his appearance in the black jogging suit at the arraignment. 

And, thanks to my friends on the Supreme Court coupled with the denial of a delay, the first day of Blago's right to trial has arrived on time--sadly, though, my invitation to serve as a juror has not.

My hope is the summons got hung up in the system.  Since changing my address, it takes the USPS a bit longer than normal to get what needs to get to me .  A girl can dream, can't she?  A seat on the Blago jury would be the best gift I could ever, ever receive.  Are you listening, Santa??

I know there is no such thing as Santa, and so I'm working on a memo to Judge Zagel offering my services as the perfect juror for his current case.  I'm the ideal candidate, really.  I have nothing but time on my hands, an entire summer ahead of me, and the skill of knowing when sarcasm can cross a line.

The poor judge has a long summer ahead as well.  Seems some punk-assed twenty-two year old with the promise of a big job in New York took the advice of who I can only imagine was his "crazy uncle the lawyer" when filling out his questionnaire this morning.  He did not want to jeopordize his future career by hanging out in Chi-town at some punk-assed ex-governor's trial for four months.  When asked if anything would impede his service he answered "my bad temper".  That was the least offensive answer to the long list of questions.

Judge excused him, but not before reaming him regarding his disregard for the system our ancestors put their lives on the line for all those years ago in the Revolutionary War.  Seems Judge Zagel never got the memo regarding youngsters giving a flying fig about anything that does not involve themselves.  

According to a "not amused" Andy Shaw (for the record has Andy ever been amused...and furthermore...I thought he retired) the boy left court a bit rattled after Judge Zagel told the "little punk" (Andy's words--not mine) if he hadn't taken his promise seriously, he'd have outed the kid by name to the press so the rest of the nation knew what a civic duty scoflaw he really was.  Not amused Andy added that the big time job in New York would have waited for the "duty skirter" once the trial was over.  Oh, Andy...you've got a lot to learn...There is one point Andy and I agree on--the complete amazement that someone would pass up the opportunity to perform their civic duty.  Although he's not as blown away at the prospect of defendant being Blago as I am.

And here is where I come in.  I don't have a job waiting...I am a good listener...I'm not impressed by the former governor/current douche bag's celebrity status...I used to think he was guilty...but now I'm convinced that if one more senate candidate comes forward with news of a "job offer in lieu of dropping a campaign run from current administration" I am going to be more than willing to change my opinion. Oh sure I really want to hear the facts.  But, I really don't care about it being my civic duty--I just want to hear those tapes this clown has been bragging (to anyone with the patience enough to listen) about--and I want a front row reserved seat to witness this sure to be freak-fest firsthand. 

I've got two kids that are well past the needy stage--oh, trust me they still want--but if I ignore current pleas, nobody will starve, rash from lack of changing, or wake the dead with a temper tantrum.  Tomorrow marks the first official day of "school's out for summer"--and there aren't enough drinks to get me through a summer of  "I'm bored", " I need", or "I want to go"...pick a theme--they always seem to  rotate over the course of the ten weeks away from the structure and containment a school classroom provides--it's the story of my life.  In order to maintain my sobriety, a trip down to the potential jury pool/subsequent four month trial would work wonders.

If bored needy kids aren't enough to make Judge Zagel consider my request I can offer my Mom as exhibit A...My mother is due to hit town tomorrow for the annual summer visit.  And, I know, just as sure as the sun rising tomorrow, that she'll be sure to fill me in on who did what to whom along with the when, why, and complete run down of where I've gone wrong, during my absence.  I'd expect nothing less than her providing me with notes and ideas of how to avoid such behavior in the future.  Trust me, if she has detailed accounts of these clowns' behavior when I'm actually at home--the lowdown of what goes on while I'm at trial will be mindblowing.

I hope the judge will consider my potential place on the jury.  Until he calls, I will continue to watch this ultimate reality series unfold.  Today's opening number was more than I could have hoped for.

Rod and Patti leaving their northside home via front door for all the cameras to see.  Why didn't they duck out the back door throught the garage to their beat up Volvo the poor guy has been reduced to driving to get around town.  Cameras cut when they hit the street--did they get driven to court or did they buckle up in the Volvo--did they swing by and pick up his co-defendant brother Rob on the way--if so did they stop for a bite to eat before the long day ahead--I'll leave it to my imagination--it's so much better that way.

Most defendants skip the jury selection portion of their trials.  But, let's be honest--this is no average defendant.  I also enjoyed the high fives and handshakes he offered to anyone who looked his way during his "red carpet worthy" arrival at the Dirksen Federal Building.

While Rod handled the high-five greetings, Patti handled the statements.  Today seems to be the beginning of redemption for the Family Blago...according to the missus...let the games begin.

Let the games begin indeed.  Bring it all on.  The next four months should fly by...and I'm going to enjoy every single minute of it.  I just wish Judge Zagel will see things from my perspective and humor me with an invite to sit in a soft seat and enjoy the events first hand.

I've got nothing but time on my hands, Judge.  And, if by chance upcoming trial requires juror sequestering...my bag is packed and I'm ready to go...trust me, Judge, I'm your girl and I really need a vacation from a summer vacation with these kids; please, Judge...give me a jingle. 

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