I feel compelled to unload some unsolicited advice on first time moms. After Nate was born I loathed parents of multiple children who condescend me with all their brilliant wisdom on the subject of parenting.
Feel free to stop reading if you’re already annoyed. I’m warning you-this is important stuff. If you're a first time mom and you haven’t found the time to shower in days, you need to put everything down immediately, including your baby and go take a relaxing 15-minute shower.
It’s not a vanity thing. You don’t need to impress your spouse with bountiful beauty after birthing a 9 lb child. You do need to engage in basic self-care or everyone will be negatively impacted, including the adorable baby you can't leave long enough for a 15-minute shower.
There’s an alarming number of new moms who aren't even sustaining dental hygiene after adding a baby to the mix. I recently chatted with moms of newborns and learned majority couldn't find time to change out of PJs, brush their teeth, or shower-sometimes for days at a time. What is happening?!
Little babies sleep almost 18 hours a day, of course there is time! Maybe I sound harsh or I’m minimizing the challenges of caring for a new baby but my tone rivals the issue's importance. This isn’t my opinion it’s a fact of life, moms need to take care of themselves.
Every parent will have challenging days where spilled coffee and cold meals are de rigueur. I’ve had my fair share but it’s more important on those days to engage ourselves in sanity sustaining activities.
I recognize some support systems are weaker than others. If no one can help out, your baby will survive (in a safe place) for 15 minutes without you tending to him/her. Because you're landlocked with a newborn during the dead of winter doesn’t mean showers are passé, they’re imperative to mental health.
If you don’t enjoy showering everyday (sometimes it’s good to skip a day), find another comparable ritual and do that everyday. Whatever makes you feel happy (aside from holding your baby...) there's time for it even with a brand new baby.
My pre-baby clothes would be like sausage encasings on me so I wear maternity leggings and a sweatshirt everyday. Clearly I’m not walking the catwalk anytime soon but I feel better changing into different pairs and adding a bit of make-up.
If you have a second child you face the reality that you cannot be there for each child every minute. Unless you're starring in Multiplicity, it's impossible. Sustaining a happy family becomes the balancing act of everyones' conflicting needs.
I remember how all consuming new motherhood felt. Don't forget to prioritize yourself. Not everything is about that little miracle you created. Once you realize that you’ll be a higher functioning mom.
Are you still reading this? Get out of here! Grab a bouncer (swing, bassinet, whatever), put your baby down, and do something enjoyable for yourself! Baby will thank you too.
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