Parents are naive. Watching a parent steam/dice up fruits and veggies for you to “eat” is a prime example. Give them a good dose of reality. You’re not going to actually eat those crappy finger foods but that doesn’t mean you have to sit and stare blankly from your high chair. The next time you're blindsided by tiny finger foods here are ten alternatives to eating that will keep you entertained.
1) The “plow” move. This is a good option if you're looking to end the meal immediately and effectively. Simply use both forearms to create a “plow” and sweep every piece of diced food of the high chair with a single motion.
2) Homemade face masks. Take the soft pieces of food and smear/squish them all over your face. Bonus: when you're bringing them up to your face parents actually think you’re going to eat them. It’s a great fake out.
3) Onesie decorating. Strategically dump the pieces onto your clothes when they are on the way to your mouth ha! Then firmly pat them against your clothes in order to guarantee sticking and staining.
4) Smash-o-thon. This is a satisfying and easy way to demolish the meal. Just simply start smashing the food on your tray with both palms. Be quick in order to avoid parents scrambling and successfully retrieving un-smashed food from your tray.
5) Throwing. A basic but timeless move where you simply grab the pieces and throw them one by one off the tray. Be sure to alternate with some “fake out” moves where you bring the food to your mouth and throw it last minute.
6) Conversation pieces. Pick up the food, hold it in front of your face, and start yelling/babbling at it. Then put it back on the tray.
7) Tanglers. Use the food as a hair tangler. The best part is a guaranteed bath directly following the meal. You must be savvy in order to avoid interception by a parent. Pretend your going to eat the piece then suddenly smash it into your hair making it impossible to remove without a beloved bath.
8) Hidden treasures. Play a game with your parents by hiding as many pieces of food as possible in the many crevices of your high chair. It’s a super fun project for parents who must find the pieces/try to clean them out later.
9) Projectile pieces. Go through the motions of eating the little finger foods but instead of actually swallowing them spit them out of your mouth as far as possible with as much accompanying spit as possible. Suggested targets: parents (obviously); other patrons at the restaurant; or just the floor.
10) Cry. Let it be known you have zero intention of humoring your parents during this meal and start crying/screaming as soon as you're buckled into the high chair.
Hope this helps you enjoy your next “meal”
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