11 Terms That Change Meaning When You’re a Parent

As your lifestyle changes to accommodate the presence of children your terminology adapts as well. Previous use of terms like slept-in evolve to mean something completely different once you have kids. Below is a glossary of common terms accompanied by their general meaning and parent equivalent.

1. Vacation

Generally means: arriving at a destination, staying in hotels, & enjoying various gluttonous endeavors

Parent equivalent: alone time

2. Productive day

Generally means: cleaning the house top-to-bottom, cultivating a new hobby, completing a grueling workout, or getting ahead on work tasks

Parent equivalent: doing a half-load of laundry & feeding everyone in the house

3. Slept-in

Generally means: woke up naturally anytime after 10 am

Parent equivalent: woke up at 7 am to someone clawing at your face

4. Late night

Generally means: went out with friends & arrived home after 1-2 am

Parent equivalent: allowed a Netflix binge to continue past 10 pm

5. Reasonable Costco bill

Generally means: anything under $200

Parent equivalent: anything under $400

6. Getting dressed up

Generally means: wearing sophisticated clothing such as dresses or suits

Parent equivalent: changing out of pajamas

7. It’s clean

Generally means: something is actually clean

Parent equivalent: you shook something off, hid it somewhere, or threw it out

8. Date night

Generally means: you utilize flexibility in your budget to enjoy dinner at a restaurant with servers

Parent equivalent: after paying a babysitter you can afford to stop at Chipotle & split a burrito

9. Quiet time

Generally means: your can hear yourself think

Parent equivalent: yelling, crying, & squealing are muffled (but still audible) because you’re in the shower

10. Happy hour

Generally means: leaving work at 5 pm on a Friday to enjoy drinks with coworkers

Parent equivalent: laying on the couch once the children are asleep after an 18 hr day

11. Relaxing weekend

Generally means: enjoying time free from work without the burden of excessive errands or responsibilities

Parent equivalent: there is none

Now when I say I had a late night last night & slept-in this morning we'll be on the same page.

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Tags: changes, children, humor, parent, terms

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