Kinky BDSM: What Are Limits and Why You Need Them

The BDSM lifestyle has so many activities that are kinky, disgusting or illegal. The moment you decided to become a participant in the lifestyle you decided what things you would never do, what you might do and things you cannot live with out. These are limits.

For years I have spoken with submissive boys and when I ask them what their limits are the conversations turns rather interesting. My response to them is one, you are WRONG!!! My second response is you are STUPID!!!

Wrong you say? Yes, WRONG! Everyone has limits. Would you fuck a child? Would you fuck a dog? Would you be willing to let me cut your head off? If you answered no to these questions, and most do, then YOU HAVE LIMITS! Stupid? Yes, STUPID! You are stupid for not thinking outside of this little box you built that just things the BDSM lifestyle is about sex Sex, SEX!

The lifestyle is about more then just sex so you need to know what your limits are. My hard limits are NO CHILDREN, NO ANIMALS, NO NEEDLES (at least not until I have gone through enough training that I feel comfortable doing this), NO BLOOD, NO CUTTING, NOTHING DISGUSTING (scat, vomit, any type of shower outside of a golden or one that is meant to clean you), and NOTHING ILLEGAL (last thing I need to hear when I get out of jail is "Tonight at 9, a local Dominatrix was arrest today for.....").

Now this is just a short list of my limits. There is more to this list but I am not going to spend all day filling out every little detail, that will take too much time away from explaining to you why you need limits!

Why do you need limits?

Well, with what I have listed, I am sure you would not do anything above. If you would then you just need to stop reading and move on. For those that understand now why you need limits, let's proceed.

How do you know what your limits are?

This is not as easy as the question seems. No one knows their full list of limits until you have met someone and begin to play. I did not know that I was dead set against sissy boys, but I do like to dress up those that hate it. Something about a man that likes to dress up as a girl is fine, but sissy boys go 3 steps too far for me. They like to be dressed up and paraded around town at times, made to do your laundry dressed up and treated like a girl. Sorry boys, I like my submissive to feel humiliated, not turned on, when I dress him up. I am also not a fan of men that like to be treated like a baby. I have enough men where I work that act like children, not to mention that I am dead set against having kids, to know that is not who I want to play with.

A good thing to do is search for a limits list online, look up some of the activities (i.e. bastinado) and check off what activities you would love to do, what you are curious about and what your hard limits are. Your Dom/me should also fill out the same list so you can compare, them

What are the difference in limits?

No limits are things you would love to do and would never refuse them. My favorite activities are fisting, strap-ons, bondage, humiliation, forced cross dressing, sensory deprivation and breath play. This is just a short list, but you get an idea of activities I like.

From the list above you might have a curiosity to some items, which would be your soft limits. Soft limits are things you are willing to do though you do not really enjoy, or they are activities you want to try and will decide later if it is something you like or hate.

Above I wrote my hard limits, these are things you will never do no matter what the submissive might offer, or the Dom/me. These are things that might define your moral side or your religious side. I personally think everyone has a list of hard limits regardless of their activity in the BDSM lifestyle or not. Everyone needs hard limits, if you say you do not have hard limits I will call BULLSHIT on you.

Remember Chicago (and anyone reading from around the globe), limits are to be respected no matter who is stating them. You should not have to compromise your moral or religious beliefs because of someone you want to play with. The moment you drop all guard will be the moment you see yourself getting arrested for bestiality, pedophilia, or indecent exposure. If you are being told that you have to do something and it is a hard limit, say no. If they continue to push the subject then leave. If they threaten you with exposing who you are, remind them that you can do the same in return and that you will contact your lawyer to do it.

Limits in life can change, but do not compromise yourself.

Stay kinky Chicago!

Mistress Julie

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