Residents told cameras, "He does not belong here," and "He hasn't been here for two years - I honestly don't think it's fair for him to come back and say he wants to be mayor." TV cameras even caught Rahm "Man of the People" Emanuel using hand sanitizer after shaking hands. Man, Rahm must really love those "icky" Chicagoans.
Apparently, if Rahm's experience is any indication, you can make a lot of mistakes as a candidate. Before running for Mayor of Chicago, it might be prudent for would-be-mayoral candidates like Rahm to take this little common sense pop quiz. Their answers might prove enlightening:
COMMON SENSE POP QUIZ FOR WOULD-BE CHICAGO MAYORAL CANDIDATES
1. To run for Mayor of Chicago, you should: (a) make your "official" announcement from the White House East Room coyly dropping in as many Chicago references as possible; (b) put together a "Glad to be Home" video message about Chicago taped from your Washington DC home; (c) embark on a "listening tour" to get reacquainted with Chicago since you had apparently forgotten about it; or (d) other.
2. The best person to run for Mayor of Chicago would be someone who: (a) screwed up Obama's presidency; (b) left his job before fixing his mess; (c) takes ballet classes; (d) laughs himself silly because he thinks it will be easy it will be to manipulate Chicago voters; or (e) other.
3. To be Mayor of Chicago, you need to: (a) actually be a resident of the City of Chicago; (b) live in Washington DC and just lease your home in Chicago; or (c) quickly buy a West Loop condo when you conveniently decide to run for mayor of Chicago.
4. To solve the city of Chicago's problems, the right Mayor for City of Chicago should: (a) send dead fish to political opponents; (b) stand on City Council tables uttering expletives; or (c) cut taxes, spending, waste and fraud, and stop the political game-playing.
5. The best Mayor of Chicago would be someone: (a) manipulative and corrupt, (b) scheming and vindictive, or (c) other.
Answer is (c). Other has already got my vote. Because not all donkeys have to be a jack-ass.