If Tiger Woods' license plate (or his mistress') could talk what would it say? And what does Britney Spears really want you to know about her? Could her license plate be a clue? In this mad-twittering, iPad-obsessed world, everything makes a statement. Everything thing from the leftover cheeseburger from Paradise Pup you ate this morning (mom's on Twitter - yikes!) to the photo of you at the Cubs game you posted on Facebook (you know, on the day you had called in sick to work - uh-oh).
Lost in all the apps, pokes, and passwords I need to keep track of, I find myself wishing for a simpler time. A time when Britney didn't chase paparazzi with a baseball bat, LiLo didn't need rehab, China didn't own most of America, and saying you wanted to enforce U.S. immigration laws didn't make you a bad person. It seems like such a long time ago now - but once upon a time in America, the teachers taught capitalism in the classroom, "Tiger" was something you found in a zoo, and the only thing "Gaga" was what a baby said. We didn't have a national debt of $13 trillion and weren't pleading with Communist dictators to buy more of our debt, so that we could afford to pay them the interest. You could only get one kind of hotdog in Chicago - with mustard, I didn't waste my time debating the finale of "Lost" with random people on the street, and guy singers were only cool after their voices changed (ie. the hormonally-challenged Biebers and that Greyson squirt). Although, that is all behind us, it doesn't mean we can't take in a little retro cool now and then to ease the pain of life.