Why can't all women just get along?  One reason might be because women have a difficult time getting along with the women in her circle.  Before women can get along with women on the outside of their circle they should focus on the women that are in their circle--whom they call friends.

Could the issue be that some of the women in that very friendship circle aren't friends?  How would one be able to tell if the women in her circle are not really 'real' friends?  Well, if your 'friend' exhibits some of the following behavior she might be more foe than friend.

1.  She doesn't celebrate your success - If she is never there for moments that count such as your graduation, wedding, birth of your babies or moments you consider important than perhaps she is not your real friend.

2.  She doesn't check you when you are wrong - If she never addresses your bad behavior and she condones your negative attitude then perhaps she is not your real friend.

3.  She doesn't have time for you - If she constantly utters, "Girl I don't have time for that!" then perhaps she is not your real friend.  This is not to say that she is a terrible person but the purpose of friendships is being able to have shared experiences.  If your friend declines invite after invite and never spends time with you then how can the friendship grow?

4.  She isn't there when you really need her - If she is not there for you in your time of need then perhaps she is not your real friend.  There will be times in a friendship where friends will be inconvenienced in order to meet a need of a friend.  These times will be 'too': (too late at night but she needs to talk; too far away but she needs you to be there; too much to handle but she will need you to be strong for her.  If you have a real friend she will make every effort in her power to be there when you need her.

5.  She doesn't push you to do better - If your friend never pushes you outside of your box and comfort zone and she allows you to settle instead of stretch for the stars then perhaps she is not your real friend.  A friend will not only encourage you to be bold, daring, and go after your dreams she will remind you of that very dream when you try to give up on it.

The downfall of all women is a bad friend.  Some women don't know how to be a friend.  Like the most important relationships--parenthood, marriage or friendships, it is assumed that individuals should know what to do in these roles.  The truth is, that is not always the case.  If all else fails, and you still can't tell if you have a real friend remember the words of Will Smith, "...if they were laughing you don't need them 'cause they're not good friends." The bottom line is this, be selective on who you chose as a friend and be careful on who you call a friend!

To get pointers on how to be a better friend check out a copy of "The Better Than Best Friend Guide: Becoming The Friend You Need Her To Be" awarded Finalist in Women's Issues category from the National Indie Excellence Awards.  Available at amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.

NIEAseal-2014-Finalist-XL The Better Than Best Friend Guide: Becoming The Friend You Need Her To Be


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