I can't say I am rivited to the London Olympics. In fact, The 2012 London Olympics bore me.
There, I said it. Boom.
I marvel at the pageantry of the games and the notion that athletes train their entire lives for a single moment of glory. It's great theater; a wonderful showcase for the host city.
And they have the wrong mix of sports.
If an alien dropped in front of my television he would walk away with the idea that our world only competes in swimming, track and gymnastics. And basketball, where LeBron James and the U.S. men's basketball "cream team" is poised to beat up the world.
Change is needed. Being from Chicago, I was hoping to see some native sports in 2016 before we were aced out by Rio De Janeiro. The spectacle of athletes training for games of "bags" (bean bag toss) or 16 inch softball would be worth the wait.
Bags and 16 inch softball, Chicago style.
5) Sleeping like a cow. A well conditioned Dad can fall asleep at the drop of a juice box, whether buried in a Lay Z Boy or standing up at the school play. Olympic sleepers would take "power naps" to a whole new level.
4) Driving without a map. Athletes are turned loose on downtown Rio; charged with navagating a 30 mile unfamiliar course. Points lost for asking directions and the final heat includes parallel parking.
3) Channel surfing. A Olympic sport exclusively for middle aged men, who compete for gold, silver and bronze medals based on how many channel changes they can complete per ten minute period. Points added in the recall session, where you rattle off game scores or plot points. Points subtracted for "run-on;" a change that hits after a commercial ends.
2) Dishwasher loading. My own Olympic dream is to stand in the kitchen, surrounded by wildly enthusiastic countrymen shouting USA! USA! as I cram another bowl into to top rack.
1) Packing a suitcase. Another sport strictly for guys, because let's face it, women pack the way I load up on golf balls. When it comes to family vacations I can go for a week with a couple of shirts, a pair shorts and a pair of drawers.
Have you been watching the Olympics? What sports would you like to see? Of course, anyone who likes us on Facebook gets a gold medal.