Just Another Gun Rant: Arms are for hugging

"Arms are for hugging." -The Dandy Warhols

More and more our country has found it hard to contain its overtly aggressive attitude towards other cultures (including its own), towards other countries (France, Mexico), towards gays (ChicagoNow's own Publius Forum blog chastised Archie comics for adding a homosexual character, saying children should have a "safe" place to go) and people of color (the reaction over Obama's birth certificate is ridiculous, when everyone just assumed W. was from Texas (he's not)).

Still, it surprised me when absolutely nobody short of SNL's Seth Meyers has come to the defense of strengthening gun laws in reaction to the recent shooting in Arizona. Instead, America's response was uniformly violent: arm yourself -- the crazies are on the loose.

I know my philosophical stance as an anti-gun purist will now and forever be an impossible ideology, but I find far too many holes and assumptions on the other side.

FIRST:

In any shooting situation, people assume that the more armed people there are in attendance, the faster the situation will come to a halt. This is wildly irrational. You are, first off, assuming that people can AIM a gun and won't shoot each other (also that they'll be able to tell exactly who the shooter is while simultaneously taking cover). You are also assuming people are trained and prepared to react cooly in a situation where their lives are on the line (training that is usually specific to having certain types of jobs where this is just assumed).

You say less death? I say more.

You say guns don't kill people, lunatics kill people. I say that if that lunatic had only been armed with a knife, he'd have killed only 1-2 instead of many.

Also - if you're saying that the same lunatic could have used a switchblade, treebranch or any other style of weapon, you're actually arguing against your own case. Because if you can defend yourself with just about anything, then why do you so desperately need a gun?

Seth Meyers pointed out that the creators of the 2nd amendmant pretty much only had muskets that took roughly 47 minutes to load, a heavy coat was the equivalent of a bullet proof vest and the difference between firing a bullet and throwing one was negligable (also that if you time-warped one to the future and tried talking to him about the second amendment, he'd be more fascinated by the giant steel tubes hurtling through the sky, and probably a little freaked out).

SECOND-

People say that guns put us above the animals.

There was something there first -- our brains. If we were smart enough to come up with guns, we are smart enough to come up with something else (tranq darts, laughing gas bombs, freeze rays?).

We built brilliant civilizations and cast animals off into the forest before the existance of guns. We can certainly keep them there.

THIRD-

People say guns put us at risk of alien invasion.

You are assuming that aliens are as violent and aggressive as you are.

And, again, we were at risk for this during the entire rise of human civilization (and what'd the aliens do? Possibly build us some pyramids?).

FOURTH-

People say that NO guns put us at risk of being taken advantage of by those WITH guns.

That is why I am a purist. No guns for anybody, anywhere, at any time, forever.

With all the mental instability out there, with alcohol being legal and all, I don't want to arm every single person in the country with the ability to kill multiple people before they can think about what they are doing. We may as well give every person in Wisconsin and Illinois an atom bomb and send them off to the Bears/ Packers game.

If there is an intruder in my home, I will defend myself with a fire extinguisher, a rake, a knife or a mag light. You laugh -- but I've read more stories about wives killing their own husbands who got up to go to the bathroom than I have about civilians successfully taking out intruders. WAY more. (And you'd think it'd be all over the news, if it happened.)

 

You say we can't do it. But compare it to voting...

I can.

Comments

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  • This newspaper's from Chicago. That's appropriate.
    On Obama's victory-day the Illinois State lottery drew 666. That's the Biblical sign of the Apocalypse and Antichrist.

    The video of the Illinois State Lottery website's Past Winning Numbers is here as well as pictures of the Chicago tribune of that day with Obam's victory on front page (in the headlines)and on Page 2 the Lottery 666 result.

    http://www.youtube.com/user/BeastObrahma?feature=mhum

    (Check the info box of the featured video and the other videos of this page)

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    You wanna talk to me about the lottery? I grew up in a White Hen Pantry.

    You know what other date the number 666 has come up on? CHRISTMAS. I believe it was 2006 or 2007. It was the midday drawing.

    You can read anything you want into random drawings of sets of numbers man. But the only rules that will apply to them are those that govern randomness -- there are many, but their pull is pretty weak (I have a blog about that, as well, if you wanna check it out).

    Thanks for reading!

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    That was Christmas, 2004.
    666 also come in TWICE on November 5th----2001 and 2008.
    November 5th 1968 is the day Nixon was elected President

  • In reply to kcdbc:

    Good catch. I suddenly see what the devil is getting at.

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    chuck and u are morons

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    I'm so glad you probably have a gun, GeirSmith.

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    I'm not a gun buff, and don't have one. I'm just commenting that Obama is marked by 666.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    Numerical systems are all man-made. Certainly the devil - if there is one - has existed longer than man. Why would it even use our silly little number system to mark his presence?

    You might just as well say that the devil is marked by cheese, and the Packers' ascension to the Super Bowl marks the apocalypse.

    Your logic is based on nonsense.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    (Readers must note: GeirSmith didn't bother to argue a single one of my points. Because if the apocalypse actually happens, firearms will be useless against tsunamis and the exploding sun. (It's not gonna be a fun, shoot-em-up, zombie movie if it does.)

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    I'm arguing your points which are beside the point.
    I have a book with page #666 in it's 1000 pages.
    I'll not inflict the stupidity on anyone to suppose that makes that book the Antichrist.
    I'll not discuss all the 666 draws of US and worldwide lotteries; I'm not a moron.

    I'll say one thing but won't repeat it.
    The number 666 must COINCIDE with the rise of the world's leader.

    Get your heads around that but i doubt you can. i'll nto reapt that argument.
    I'll not stoop to the level of idiots like you two.

    You're stupid ugly baiters and hecklers.

    Enough said!

    Now go sulk.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    Thanks for giving my page so many hits, GeirSmith. You're welcome to make your nonsensical, beside-the-point arguments here anytime.

    If the world is ending, I'm glad to have a rambling idiot like you beside me, taking my mind off my troubles with a giggle.

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    House Leader.Speaker Cantor has said people should be 'beyond' the birth issue.
    That's set off hundreds of thsoaunds of articles and post and U tube videos, a torrent of them.
    Now innumerable others are joining that.
    I've given you many hits?
    People are now massively onto this topic my friend.

    Obama is marked by 666 and Chicago is marked because it spawned Satan in the form of Obama-the Antichrist. Chicago is afraid today. Fear is good because it saves from hell. Fear you too.... or burn in the hell of the Antichrist i.e. the lake of fire and brimstone (sulfur) - Bible

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    Are you saying that he has no birth certificate because he IS the devil?

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    So you've smeared me saying I got a gun. You've smeared me with else. Now it's this charade (guessing-game). Obama's the Antichrist = 666 = Bible says that's the "Great Deceiver" i.e. birth fraud.

    Just give up and go sulk now. Hawaii's governor just admitted there's no certificate.

    You cultees really don't give up easily. Obama's evil, you wall went astray damn it! Get that!

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    I want you to come back here, to me, and report on the first "evil" thing Obama does.

    Because if he's evil, he's been waiting a really really REEEEAAAAALLy long time to show it.

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    debt's four times bigger than any president. That's evil.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    You realize that was all started by W., who SPENT more than any other president.

    Unfortunately, the only way to climb out of a depression is to spend more on top of that (it's how Roosevelt did it).

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    That's wrong, Obama's spent more than 257 years of all other presidents in 24 months.
    Depressions can be won by anti-depressants only.
    The Bible says one must refuse the Mark of the Beast upon hand and forehead. That's money. Repeal everything - anull all Obama's work. Get back all the money he's squandered. That's the way back from hell. The way of Obama is the way to hell.
    10 states has presented future bills forcing candidates to show they're eligible. What does Obama got to hide? Why are people covering over for a fraud?
    Can an honest person say Obama's doesn't have to show he's honest?
    You're just as dishonest as him if you say that, Dan.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    You are still misinformed on both points. But arguing with you is useless. When the world doesn't end this term, you'll move onto something new. Bye now.

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    You should read the news 72% of GOP are polled saying Obama's not American. Just read the news.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    If you're such a conspiracy theorist, why would you believe the news?

    Politics are so divided that the GOP would say he's an alien if they thought it would get them votes in 2012.

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    Ok Everything's a lie. You're a liar, I'm a liar, you say I'm a conspiracy theorist and what's that? Karl Rove says exactly like you. He says the polling company is Democratic and they spin those figures. he says the whole birther issue is acreated by the white House to paint the Republicans into a the crazy corner.
    Everything'scrazy and n one knows squat.
    But my friend, the bottom line is everybody's talking about it now.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    Do we seriously now agree on something? Everything is a distraction! They don't want us to consider the REAL issues. YES! My friend, i could kiss you right now.

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    You can lie as much as you like, I told you so. But The whole world's talking about Obama's birth certificate. Can't be good for Obama. And the GOP is panicking just as much as the Democrats are.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    If he is from another country... I honestly DON"T CARE,EVEN!

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    People kill people ... Guns just let them kill lots more people really fast without really thinking about it. (Sounds great.)

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    if obama's not american it's no problem to you it's for him the problem lies.

  • In reply to GeirSmith:

    He'd be having bigger problems if he was the leader of another country, from the looks of it. That shit in Egypt et cetera has gone mui loco.

  • In reply to nixhexison:

    He'll be ashamed when he's put in jail that he did so much harm even in Egypt. He shouldn't have hamred people.

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