Is Having a Whites Only Policy on the Dating Scene Racist? (Sleepless in Austin Thinks Not)

Is Having a Whites Only Policy on the Dating Scene Racist? (Sleepless in Austin Thinks Not)


Romeo Rose aka Sleepless in Austin has become a viral sensation. In case you have been living under a rock, Romeo  has offered a $1,500 Finder’s Fee for anyone who can find him his dream girl. But here is the caveat, he has INSANELY strict criteria for who he will and will not date down to  weight, sexual history and race. Romeo states that he would never ever date a black girl even if she looked like Halle Berry.

When questioned about this by a television journalist he said that he is not racist it’s just his sexual preference. He went on to elaborate that black women are ‘disgusting’ and that having sex with a black person is the equivalent of bestiality.  And even after these comments he still insisted that he wasn’t racist because he didn’t ‘hate’ black women he was just disgusted by them. The journalist conducting the interview was so offended that she had to cut the interview short and rightfully so.

Obviously, Romeo Rose is a pretty outrageous guy but as a professional matchmaker I’m actually shocked that his strict preferences have made national news. In my capacity as a matchmaker it is my job and my mission to find my single clients exactly what they are looking for right down to race. Romeo isn’t the first guy on the dating scene to have a whites only policy so why the sudden outrage?

9 out of 10  of every matchmaking client  I have has a racial preference when it comes to dating and that preference is overwhelmingly White.  And it’s not just Caucasians wanting to date their own kind.  In my experience many singles of every race prefer a White partner.  The popular online dating site OkCupid has the statistics to back it up. The question is when and how do we draw the line between ‘preference’ and ‘racist’?

And are racial preferences in dating part of something deeper than just personal tastes. In my own social circle of single friends I have heard it argued that these ‘preferences’ aren’t organic but are instead the product of systematic conditioning. Under this theory the predominate reason most singles prefer a White partner is because the media has conditioned us to believe that European features are more appealing than minority features.

Both as a dating expert and as an avid lover of sociology and mass media I believe there may be some validity to this argument. Maybe. There is no doubt that white beauty especially blue eyes and blonde hair reigns supreme across all forms of media from television to movies to magazines. But are our tastes really dictated by the media? Are we unable to develop our own opinions and preferences?

I’m a brown eyed, dark haired, caramel complexion  woman. But when it comes to preference I am no different than my matchmaking clients or the majority of Americans for that matter. I have a strong sexual preference for blue eyes, fine hair and flushed lips. Does this make me racist against my own people? Am I victim of the  evil white media brainwashing me to exalt their people and overlook my own? Or are blue eyes just objectively really captivating? Are flushed lips simply more kissable? Or is there dangerous societal and political implications lurking beneath the surface?

In every post I always offer an answer but in this one I humbly admit that I do not have one. All I ask of you dear reader is to examine your own ‘preferences’ and where they come from. Also, I would like to open a dialog on if we as a society should be more tolerant of people’s racial preferences in dating? Should singles who have a Whites Only policy on the dating scene be shamed over it? Is this type of racial exclusion as dangerous as actual segregation or are our sexual and romantic preferences so uniquely personal that people should be able to embrace their preferences without judgment or fear of the label ‘racist?’

Think about it. Talk about it.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment