Fellas, so you’re ready to start dating! Maybe you’re back on the market after ending a long term relationship and although you know you have mad dating skills you don’t quite remember how to get the most ‘yeses’ and the least amount of ‘nos’ when asking girls out. Or perhaps you’ve been playing the dating game your entire adult life and you’re ready to learn how to play ball for real now! Wherever you’re at there is always room for improvement . Here are some tips to make you more successful than you already are on the dating scene.
Take charge! Extend a definite invitation for a date. Don’t be vague about what it is you’re asking.
So no, “This weekend I’m relatively free so I was thinking maybe we could touch base and see about hanging out.” None of that. It’s too tentative. I don’t know what you’re asking. And yes this was a real text sent by an anonymous guy to one of my awesome and nameless friends. Please don’t emulate this guy.
Obviously you have to bring your own flavor to the equation so don’t copy and paste excerpts of this blog and start sending it to girls. But next time you ask a girl out if you want to get a ‘yes’ try something along the lines of “*insert girl’s name* I would like to take you out. Let’s get together Friday if you’re interested. How’s 7’0clock?"
Assertive. Direct. Confident. And Clear. Perfect way to ask a girl out.
Have a Plan
The majority of women like a man with a plan. If you want to be good at dating, none of this “Well what do you wanna do?” Well what do you wanna do?” “Umm I dunno, let’s play it by ear.”
If you’re going to ask a girl out think of some ideas for great dates in advance. If you’d like present two options to her if you think she’d like to be involved in the planning of the date.
So continuation of the example from above. “Let’s get together Friday if you’re interested. We should do a dinner picnic by the lake. How’s 7 oclock?” Here is a variation with two choices. “I’d like to take you out Friday. I was thinking of dinner at the Signature Room or a picnic in Grant Park. Which one are you in the mood for?”
Be the man with a plan.
Have Good Intentions
Nobody likes a snake oil salesman. Don’t advertise yourself as wanting to ‘get to know’ a girl when really you’re only trying to get laid. On a spiritual level misleading people puts bad Karma and bad energy into the Universe which will eventually come back to you.
And on a practical level many women can see right through it so you’re going to get rejected or used in turn for whatever it is that she finds of value about you.
I already know you don’t want to be used for your money but even though you probably haven’t thought about it yet you probably don’t want to be used for your attention either. Picture a woman putting pressure on you to call her, to text her all day, to see her every weekend etc etc. If you’re only in it for sex filling her need for attention will drain you. Don’t get yourself into that situation.
Only ask out girls that you are genuinely interested in. If you only exert energy and time on pursuits that are for your greater good you will have more success and you will be happier.
Detach From the Outcome
If you’re asking her out you want her to say ‘yes.’ It’s okay to want it but don’t need it. It’s important that before you ask out each woman get yourself in a place both mentally and spiritually where you really don’t care about the outcome.
Once you learn to be happy with or without that date you’re going to have more women than you can shake a stick at.
If you want to attract women like a magnet, check out my book Make Women Want You!
Disclaimer: As a dating expert and an adult woman I don’t advocate referring to women as girls. Girls are children and if you’re a J.O.Y. Love fan I know that you’re man enough to handle a fully mature woman. But that being said I’m a blogger and I need to make Google like me. For some reason women are more commonly referred to as girls on the interwebs so I elected to use ‘girls’ in this article. Please don’t follow my lead.
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