The Worst Online Dating Emails

The Worst Online Dating Emails

Online dating has become quite popular over the years. Anyone who has ever tried it knows the journey to finding ‘the one’ online is wrought with both disappointments and funny stories. If you’re really serious about finding someone new the wise thing to do would be to join a singles’ group or to hire a matchmaker. But if you choose to go the online dating route you must have a sense of humor. During the year of 2011 I decided to explore online dating to expand my expertise and experience as a relationship specialist. Below is a compilation of the worst online dating emails that landed in my inbox. These are the guys who got NEXTED immediately. Enjoy!

“What’s up sexy midget! I hope I didn’t offend you I was just trying to put a smile on that pretty little face of yours.”

Ew! Making fun of my height is not a great way to win me over. And it sounds like you have some creepy fetish. NEXT!

“Your sexy! Would you consider dating an in shape but chunky white dude?”

First, you should know the difference between “your” and “you’re” before you graduate elementary school. One is possessive and one is a contraction. Secondly, why would you refer to yourself as a “chunky white dude”!? You make yourself sound like walking cottage cheese! NEXT!

[This email was in response to an inquiry about what we should do on our first date.]

“First, I want to look you up and down then I want to smell you. Then we can grab coffee”

Serial killer much?  *shiver* Creeeepy! NEXT!

“u into orchestra, have u played a stringed intrument bak in da dayz??? Dnt gota a lot to say cuz I aint read da file all da way thru…, wuddup tho ms (user name has been redacted) u got any freetyme in yo schedule…, dont get offended wen i say i think we can be a dynamic duo if u r able to compliment me as i do you…if u wanna find out message me wit ur numba so i know u r willing to reach out as far as I am towards u…ttys ; )”

i is not shur i evn no wat da fuk dat seyz! u shud lrn to rite abuv a thrd grade levl bfour tryin to onlyne date…NXT!

Do you have any online dating horror stories? Please share in the comments section.

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