Conversation Starters That Work (And Those That Don't)

Conversation Starters That Work (And Those That Don't)

Have you ever seen someone across the room that you wanted to get to know but you didn’t approach them because you didn’t know what to say? It’s happened to everyone at least once so I’m sure that it’s happened to you. Don’t let it happen again. Below are some conversation starters that will make approaching someone new easy and fun. There is also some guidance on what NOT to say as well.

What Works: I’ve never been here before is it usually this crowded/empty?

This conversation starter is a more effective spin off of the classic pick-up line “come here often?” The reason it works is because it opens the door for a dialog about the other person's past experiences at that place. If they’ve never been there either the two of you will immediately have something in common and you can follow up with “what made you come here tonight?” This conversation and all of its derivatives will definitely break the ice in any situation.

What Doesn’t Work: I’ve never been here before. Do you think any cool/hot people will show up tonight?

This is insulting to the person you are speaking with. By asking if anyone better will show up you are insinuating that the person you are speaking with isn’t good enough.

What Works: What kind of drink is that? Do you like it?

Everyone likes to share their likes and dislikes. This conversation puts the other person at ease and gives him or her an opportunity to discuss his or her preferences. The other person will probably ask you what you like to drink in turn and before you know it the two of you will be chatting all night.

What doesn’t work: What kind of drink is that? Can I have a sip?

Ew gross! Nobody wants your germs and you shouldn’t want theirs either.

What Works: I’m trying to decide what to order do you have any suggestions?

This conversation gives the other person an opportunity to be an expert. Almost everyone considers themselves to be a “foodie” so this conversation starter will really get the other person opining and interacting with you. In order to determine what they should suggest they will likely ask you questions about what kind of foods and drinks you like and in no time the two of you will be effortlessly talking about everything under the sun.

What Doesn’t Work: I’m not sure what to get. Would you like to buy me a drink/dinner?

Even if you are joking, you will seem needy and like you have a sense of entitlement. Regardless of whether you are male or female don’t ask people to buy you drinks or dinner. Let the other person offer.

What Works: I love your shirt/outfit/accessory.

Compliments always break the ice. You will instantly make the person smile and you can follow up by asking where they got said outfit and learn more about them from there.

What doesn’t work: Great shirt. I think I have the same one.

If you are talking to someone of the opposite sex this comment can lead to the other person being offended. No guy wants to be told he’s wearing a chic shirt and vice versa. Trust me, I learned this one from experience.

What Works: You have great hair.

Who doesn’t want great hair? This compliment works for both genders. People spend endless amounts of time and money to have healthy and beautiful hair. If you go out of your way to show appreciation for someone’s hair you will automatically be in their good graces. This compliment is more personal than complimenting something the other person is wearing because it is about something that is a part of them not something they bought at a store.

What Doesn’t Work: You have nice lips/tits/ass/package.

Complimenting any feature below the neck is lewd and could be construed as offensive. Even complimenting someone’s lips is too personal and borderline creepy if you don’t really know the person. Reserve this line of comments for when you’re actually dating the person.

What Works: I love this song that’s on. Do you know who sings it?

No matter how different two people are music can make them feel connected. This ice breaker can open the door for the two of you to bond over liking the same song and also to ask more about each other’s musical preferences. Even if the person you are talking to doesn’t know the song or doesn’t like it this can open the door for a flirty debate.

What Doesn’t Work: I hate the crap they play here, don’t you?

Contrary to common belief complaining is not a good way to bond. If you start a conversation with a negative comment you will seem like a negative person. And what if the person you are talking to happens to love the music you are bashing? You will have already started off on the wrong foot.

Go out and try these conversation starters tonight and let me know how they worked out for you in the comments section. Happy flirting!

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